I agree. Fair or not, I associate that with being rather sheltered. They’re just words, and a “bad” word uttered into the void, not directed at anyone in particular, has no power over you. To see people recoil over a simple “fuck!” when I stub my toe suggests a naïveté that I don’t have time for.

If nobody speaks up for being civil, there's no incentive to be civil. Certainly we need folk speaking up for civility so we can keep using our expletives with appropriate conviction. After all, the whole f'ing reason for cursing is to offend.

If you're not offended, I have to try harder to convey my indignity, you naughtyhead.

I think there may be two schools of thought here, though.

Some people interpret the very act of cursing as incivility, regardless of the purpose, and some people only view it as uncivil if it is meant to be uncivil.

Personally, I don’t agree that the only reason to curse is to offend. In my mind, curse words have a very specific meaning and sometimes they are by far the most appropriate word for a situation.

I would liken it to using words that describe parts of the human anatomy. There are some people who would never say the word penis in polite company, but sometimes it’s just the only word for the job.

Also, I’m not suggesting that my interpretation is the only reasonable one, just that I think there are widely varying positions.

I'm Australian and I think a large portion of us use swear words almost like punctuation.

Of course it depends on the social context. I'm not going to be swearing much at all at work and still feel a little startled (not offended, just surprised and maybe vaguely uncomfortable) when my manager drops an F-bomb or two. Yet around friends and family, F-bombs (and C-bombs [1] around close friends!) are almost used like exclamation points, purely to draw emphasis and attention to a statement.

I can only conclude it's one of those cultural things. So while I respect that some people find swearing deeply offensive and particularly only useful to offend, that's a really alien concept to me.

[1] F-bomb and C-bomb are slang terms referring to f..k and c..t respectively.

I think it's very contextual. I'd expect such a rebuff from my grandmother - at any age. From a public service, I'd expect them to be overly familiar with the stresses involved.

Yes, but if your grandmother rebuffs me, I’ll think, “what the hell?”

My grandmother was a school teacher. If you said it around her, you might well get the rebuke, whether or not you were her grandchild.

Many have triggers around tone of voice or curse words. So in some cases triggered ptsd ( trauma related pattern) and not really a choice available to take it personally or not. Trauma may be caused by repeated scenarios of control, humiliation, abuse, especially toward children.

I recommend nonviolent communication, the book and the practice. Teaches the ability to “translate” highly charged conversations into basic human needs and feelings.