An operator generally creates Kubernetes objects as part of implementing a complex workflow that is normally taken care of by a human "operator". An example of this is the Cassandra operator, where you save a single object describing a Cassandra cluster at a fairly high level and the operator takes care of creating the pods and volumes and services and configuring the databases (and tearing it all down when you don't want it anymore).
A Postgres operator could manage Postgres instances in pods, or it could program AWS RDS. Having a deployable entity isn’t really required. The thing reading the API and updating those objects is definitely a controller.
It's a controller which is configured by Kubernetes Custom Resources that extends Kubernetes as you say.
Gatekeeper is a CRD (Custom resource definition). This means that you can write policies as Kubernetes objects and deploy them to the cluster the same way you'd deploy any other object to cluster.
Gatekeeper policies are rego (created by OpenPolicyAgent), which is based on Datalog, and allows you to create these policies using a very rich and powerful language.