I did that and relocated from SF to a cheaper part of the country. How does working on a beach help?

I'm expected to be online during core work hours and available for calls (in a quiet location with good internet).

I feel like I've optimized working as much as humanly possible and I'm still going insane. My job pays well, has good benefits, has good coworkers, my opinion is valued, my work is appreciated, my boss is fine, I learn new things every day, I now do 12-8 instead of 9-5 by switching time zones, and I make sure to be done with work when the office is done with work. I keep telling myself all these objectively good things, but I feel like I'm wasting every day for a paycheck. I store it all away and invest it, as if there's going to be a future, but I'm fully expecting this to kill me long before I'd have enough funds to quit.

I must be doing something wrong though, because if everyone felt like I do, society shouldn't be able to function.

Working on a beach is optional if it's not your thing. I only mentioned it because it would probably feel less like work to me. The point is you choose where and when you want to work.

About being online - I worked remotely for a year with a 10 hour time difference. Talked to my boss on Skype once a week to discuss progress. The rest was up to me. Most of communication was done via ticket comments. Sometimes I skipped a day or even two, but I knew that afterwards I'd have to work extra to make progress.

I don't know if you're doing something wrong, or maybe it's just your personality, but when I did what I loved, it didn't feel like work at all. That was at a small startup where I was the first engineer, and I worked alongside CEO, CTO, and later a couple more guys, building something really interesting. If I felt how you feel, that's the only way I would work. The salary was a third of what I can make now at any big corp in California, but unless you really need the money (kids, mortgage, old age and no savings, etc), then you really don't need much to be happy.

> Talked to my boss on Skype once a week to discuss progress. The rest was up to me. Most of communication was done via ticket comments.

Wait, is this common? I'm constantly answering questions and helping my team along as people get stuck all day. If I had the kind of an arrangement you're describing, I'd just get all my work done for the week in a day, and I wouldn't have a problem. Was there anything preventing you from doing that?

Maybe I'm doing remote wrong? I can choose "where" as long as it's quiet and has good internet, but I can't choose the "when" at all.

I have a phd in deep learning, so I do R&D type of work, where I mostly read papers, build models, run experiments, and occasionally write emails to others who work on similar problems.

I actually didn't like to be so disconnected from the group. I like face to face brainstorming sessions, and I couldn't really have that there.

Sounds like you might be more of a lynchpin to the team than the other commenter (which isn't a negative to them). You could try being less available, say no more often, etc. But some people just can't get away from it.

Here's a forbes article[0] about this phenomenon. Top performers get rewarded with more work in organizations generally speaking. The next job I have I am going to attempt to appear less competent as I have found that getting a 5% raise rather than 3% isn't really worth all the extra hours and weekends.

[0]https://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2018/01/25/the-curse-of...

External things have limited relevance to the internal condition.

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." - Matthew 6:33

I don't believe in any gods, and I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean.

Is that advice actionable for you in some way? What do you take it to mean as it relates to modern employment?

The point of the whole section is that it's more important to build a legacy of being a good person than to be wealthy.

One of the lines that proceeds that is:

>27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

Humans should be smart enough to figure out how not to starve and and not to freeze to death without working themselves to death preparing for a future that may not even come. We should care about each other enough to admit that those outcomes are not necessary and be willing to give and accept support form others from time to time.

Gospel of Thomas has a similar parable > , "There was a rich person who had a great deal of money. He said, 'I shall invest my money so that I may sow, reap, plant, and fill my storehouses with produce, that I may lack nothing.' These were the things he was thinking in his heart, but that very night he died.'

Ie, don't make yourself miserable for material possessions out of fear that if you lack them for a period you will never be ok ever again. You'll lack them when you're dead too. Stress yourself out too much about those things and you'll probably just die early without even attempting the things you wanted to do. At least attempt to improve the world in some way if you think you have the means and desire to do so. And even if you risk your material possessions to do so, it probably isn't the end of the world.

Oh ok, that makes sense. I know that's one way to view the problem, but I guess it carries more weight as being the correct view due to the divine origin of the advice?

Maybe the bible is right here, but another way to view that parable might be that the rich person was planning for his safety, which is wise. And by dying, he has transferred the safety that he was building for himself to his legacy, which can continue without him. I think most people in our society would describe that rich person as being prudent, not foolish. We call that "estate planning" today and it's recommended that everyone does it.

There's a lot of other guidance that I consider very wrong in the same bible though, so its authority doesn't help me much in deciding if it's correct about how to view life. It also seems like this advice might have been more applicable before the invention of medicine.

In any case, I appreciate the explanation.

That verse is worthless for atheists, but the first sentence is actually usable. How we experience life, how we feel is strongly influenced by the labels we attach to our experiences. Maybe meditation can help you, no god needed. Check out "The mind illuminated", this book gets recommended in pretty much every thread on hn about meditation and for good reasons.

> I must be doing something wrong though, because if everyone felt like I do, society shouldn't be able to function.

No you're not doing anything wrong. You're not the problem, the society is.

Also I have to say that I feel exactly like you on everything you said on this thread.

Can't help noticing that you don't mention your own perception of purpose of the work in that list. Which is pretty obvious from the overall description anyway.

Sounds like you could use some rotation of occupations until you find anything that's of interest to you. Intrinsic interest trumps external motivation every time, just ask a procrastinator.

Personally I stumbled upon work that interests me purely by chance, only because the web was taking off back then. I don't even need to know I'm serving the humanity or building the future, just give me some scripting to fiddle with and I'll fiddle it into perfect shape. Have no idea how I'd function otherwise—would probably rot my brains off and drink myself to death as a janitor or something.

In fact, I'm getting serious dread from the thought that I should be switching occupations for the reasons of both health and money, and because youngsters are mashing keyboards faster.

Most people think what they do at work is important for them on a personal level. This may not be an objectively correct belief (but then, how does one define what's objectively important for oneself?) but there is this sentiment of wanting to make society better, and at work you are in a kind of society.

You seem to be missing that social link with your coworkers.

(And yes, if you ask me, I'd say it's everybody else that is crazy here, not you. But people are not built to have a completely clear mind.)