> The best layman explanation I have heard is that extroverts are "recharged" by being around others whereas introverts recharge by being alone

That's a good step 1.

Step 2 is realising that introverts often do get energised by one-on-one or small group socialising, or socialising in a more meaningful way around a real shared interest.

Step 3 is realising that the concept of introversion/extraversion generalises past social interaction to preferences for levels of external interaction / stimulation in general. So for example, some people may not be super-sociable, but may love lot's of external physical stimulation (music/lights/exercise, etc), others may love to be exposed external ideas (or alternatively have a preference to only be exposed to small amounts of these things).

^ This is the notion of introversion/extroversion captured by the MBTI / Jungian Type Theories, where Extraverted Feeling (Fe) roughly function corresponds to the popular notion of extraversion, but there are also Extraverted Sensing (Se), Extraverted Intuition (Ne) and Extraverted Thinking (Te) functions which present differently.

Saying that talking about a book is meaningful but talking to a person about their life, is not is immature inferiority-complex bigotry.

> Saying that talking about a book is meaningful but talking to a person about their life, is not is immature inferiority-complex bigotry.

I would include talking to a person about their life as meaningful conversation. But lot's of extraverts like to chatter about nothing at all. Like, they literally cannot let there be a silence. (because it helps them think / keeps them stimulated).

To introverts that's infuriating, because they can't think while the chatter is happening, and they are over-stimulated.

I am infuriated when someone starts pushing priority-preserving NULL tokens at me non-stop. It's even more infuriating when I have to do linguistic analysis calculations to reduce all those possible content-carrying strings down to to disappointing priority-preserving NULL tokens.

I love priority-preserving pauses, maybe even with explicit priority-yielding tokens, but there are so many people that just take any pause in the conversation as their opportunity to seize priority and keep it, and this is what produces the culture of babblers and chatterers. Silence is a resource devoured by the tragedy of the commons.

Some people need you to shut up, in order to think their own thoughts. And when they are not allowed to stop and think, they get angry and frustrated with you. So pause. Take a breath. Take another breath. When that silence starts to get uncomfortable for you, that other person is still assembling their meaningful contribution to the conversation into a sentence. Hold it just a few more seconds... aaand... let them speak.

I mean, the same people would probably say that trying to imitate a robot in own speech is a sign of not being as intelligent as you think you are.

But you are not one of those people, and you are not definitely saying that? So what exactly are you saying?

I would much rather have a conversation about Liu Cixin's dark forest idea than to learn about someone's snotty kid.

I guess color me immature with an inferiority-complex bigotry.

I feel like that is immature. You're implying that a conversation about the kids cannot be pleasurable and informative. I recently moved to an all women team (running joke was that I was a diversity hire) and the kind of things they need to do to prepare for pregnancy blew my mind. When my colleagues talk about their kids asking weird questions and putting their parents in weird situations it's as stimulating a puzzle to solve as any of the philosophical masterbation.

I agree. I can enjoy both, but I get a particular energy out of discussing ideas. Small talk about one's life or vacation is less interesting/energizing to me.

And that's okay. I'm not sure why this had to involve a sermon on immaturity and—of all things—bigotry.

If you haven't done it, check out wandering earth on netflix, it's based off of a short story by him.

I didn't know that going in and about halfway through I remember thinking China must have a lot of amazing Chinese sci-fi writers because the ideas in the movie reminded me of the vastness of Liu Cixin. Then afterwards I look up more info and find out it's based off of a short story of his.

Of course it is, lol. Great movie.

> extroverts are "recharged" by being around others whereas introverts recharge by being alone

Is there any actual support for this theory besides its status as an internet meme?

Of course N=1 and all that, but as a meme that describes how my life went from my teenage years to now, 20 years later, it fits very very well. Maybe you don't like the word, but as a recharge-alone-overt, I don't particularly care about the specific label, I just want to spend Sunday afternoon quietly with a book :)

Kind of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion#...

yep, that's correct. Me and my fiancée are both text-books introverts, but I'm not shy at all, have no fear of public speaking etc. while she is the opposite.

But for both of us, even having a drink after work with people is super exhausting and we just want to go home and relax, while an extrovert would be depressed staying alone and needs to recharge by having fun with people.

It's very hard for me to disentangle skill and enjoyment. I feel like I'd enjoy socializing more and would energize me if only I was better at it. It is certainly something that gets easier with practice but some people are just generally not that verbal or good at reading social situations in large groups quick enough to jump in the banter quickly. Or if they can, it may require conscious effort that can get tiring.

I must be the opposite. After and during socializing I often feel manic but I terribly shy initially and spend all my time alone.

Drat.

Same here. I was invited to a party late last year and it was the first time really getting out in a long time. It was enjoyable, but I didn't do much socializing till the end. Haven't had an opportunity to get out since tho

Some good news though! Shyness, social anxiety, etc, can be overcome with effort, if desired. I've definitely witnessed a number of people "coming out of their shell" so to speak over the years.

Also you can be an extrovert with severe social anxiety. At least that's what I consider myself, because I don't share any traits with introverts other than being considered shy, because I struggle in social situations.

Good job for recognizing the distinction!