don't take this the wrong way. I believe a man would also face significant hurdles to try and get hired after not being in the field for two decades. Honestly on paper such a person has less to offer then a cheaper, younger person who is fresh out of college. I mean If you don't do something for two decades you have forgotten most of it.

To attribute your predicament to you being a women seems shortsighted to me. But this is only from the information I gained from reading your post and I don't actually know what experiences you went through.