At risk of blaming the commuter, I think a lot of this comes down to whether the non-commute option allows you not to own a car at all. Cars are expensive, like $700/mo expensive by some studies, and not having to have one (or worse, two) probably allows most families a very significant bump up in money able to go to their housing expenses.

I think for a lot of people the calculus is "well, I need a car no matter what (cost $Y), and because I have a car, my mortgage payment can be at most $X-$Y, and since I have a car anyway, I don't mind driving it for ten hours a week, so I might as well live way out in the boonies to maximize the amount of house I can get for $X-$Y."

But all of that unravels if you revisit the initial assumption that a car is necessary, and look at non-car housing options for $X. In many North American cities, a car really is necessary. But it's not everywhere, and it's getting better all the time.