A 3,500 sq ft house with granite countertops and hardwood flooring for 4 people should probably not be average either.
With the exception of a few markets with very expensive land, we have a consumption problem. We have a keeping up with the Jones problem.
You don't have nearly as much worry about losing your home if you spend below your means.
Sure, the keeping up with the Jones thing is happening with a lot of people. But that does not appear to be the bulk of the problem. Heck, just drive through the country and tell me if you spot more McMansions or more McShacks.
But there are other criteria as well.
* The roads are long, winding, and poorly connected (so walking distances are excessive). This leads to ridiculous scenarios like https://usa.streetsblog.org/2013/02/28/sprawl-madness-two-ho...
* The stores are generally large big-box stores that is often kilometers from ones' house; there are no small corner shops and restaurants, because they are illegal.
* If you're still determined to walk, you probably need to cross large, high-speed roads with short crossing times, and your origin and destination are probably separated from the road by a large parking lot. And you may not even have sidewalks or crossing facilities. Example: https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Panera+Bread,+143+Alexander+...
* Public transit in American suburbs is a joke. Because it's so hard to walk around, ridership is very low, making frequency hard to justify, causing even lower ridership. And this is before you consider that
Americans are anti-tax
American suburbs have an associated history with white flight post-segregation, so people often object to transit because it'll let "criminals" in
So you wind up with situations like this Detroit man who walked 21 miles every day because he didn't have a car. https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/oakland/2015...
"Just don't buy expensive shit" isn't an option when rent is increasing faster than wages.
there are certainly a lot of people out there who would be feeling the squeeze anywhere, but if you're making six figures and you're in danger of losing your home, you are probably doing something wrong. your house is too big, you live in the wrong place, or both.
right now I'm living pretty comfortably spending <$30k a year. I understand salaries and COL vary in different places, but most people who make six figures in an expensive area could certainly take a more humble job in a less expensive region and live a fine life.