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Re:Tips for reviewing code you don’t like by mtlynch on Monday July 08, 2019 @06:19PM (#20387305)
I agree about "please" coming across as condescending.

One way I write around it is to frame discussion in terms of "we" and not "you." I think "we" reinforces the collective ownership of the code and de-emphasizes the idea of the review being me vs. you.

I wrote more about this technique a couple years ago:

https://mtlynch.io/human-code-reviews-1/#never-say-you

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