NVIDIA firmware update [0] solved the problem for me. It seems they ditched the naughty part of DisplayPort standard for good and stopped passing hot-plug events to OS.
Sometimes I can't get to them at all on the laptop screen without forcing it closed and reopening.
The regular [win] + [left/right] for snapping to 1/2 screen positions will also move it across screens if you hit it repeatedly.
[0]: https://superuser.com/questions/630555/turning-displayport-m...
Sadly MS figured we all wanted to have to shit move around as soon as you use a KVM.
(Also, there's usually a 90% chance that windows will not correctly handle the monitor reconnecting without having to either power cycle the monitor or using the video card's 'really truly scan for monitor changes' feature.)
Waking from sleep will periodically just not find a monitor at all, or they will come up with the wrong positioning (left and right swapped). If I turn a monitor off, the other one (and the laptop) do some sort of resync operation that interrupts the display. It's annoying, but not something I would expect the industry to consider a priority; I'm not really sure it's a monitor issue at all.
So yeah, it's better than when off really meant off and ports lacked cable detection.