Starting with the caveat of “not all churches”, but it is a very common trend.

Churches have a weird entry criteria - you have to believe in their god (which can be offensive when it’s phrased like “you are incapable of handling your own life, leave it to God”). And if you don’t, you’re silently and persistently pressured into making that conversion, with a healthy dose of pity for you and your sinful ways.

I've never been to a church that required people to believe anything in order to engage in any particular way. Except to become a teacher or minister or priest, but that's fairly common sense I think.

But, yes, people will often discuss theology and proselytize. If that sort of thing angers you, maybe skip out after the music and then catch up with folks when the coffee or potluck starts. Or maybe skip all of the above and just sign up for the volunteer activities at retirement homes, women's shelters, etc.

> I've never been to a church that required people to believe anything in order to engage in any particular way.

Communion at the Catholic Church. Or entering the Mormon church at all.

You're probably thinking of entering a Mormon Temple. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints distinguishes between churches where people meet every Sunday, and Temples where more important ceremonies are conducted (and which, incidentally, aren't open on Sunday).

Yeah, technically all Christian churches do not allow non-Christians to take communion, though it's on the honor system. However, I don't think an agnostic or atheist would miss a cracker and shot of juice.

I guess maybe wedding might be a niche concern. Some churches only marry believers or even members, but I bet most would consider it anyway. Only some sort of premarital class or counseling is typically required.

There are plenty of churches where you really don't have to believe in God or even feel pressured to. Particularly left leaning mainstream denominations like Episcopal or PCUSA seem to be a mix of believers and people who just like the community. Universalist Unitarianism is a little more blatant about that.

I have a bad opinion of churches as my abusive father was quite a fan of them, and would in fact diagnose my siblings as I as possessed by demons and use this as an excuse to slap the shit out of us, torment us until we cried, etc. None of his church friends gave a damn or lifted a finger to help us.

Wow. Sorry. That sort of thing angers me.

I won't presume to give you advice here, but for the other people reading, there are many churches who do work in this space, supporting shelters for victims of violent crimes, recovery groups, addiction recovery programs (substance abuse is often involved in domestic abuse), support groups for divorced people, fostering, adoption, and so on. There are places for one to do some good in this particular space.

As someone who was raised in a pretty religious household, I have to say that churches can, indeed, be pretty weird. Churches are like clubs. Whole lot of different clubs out there, but you really do need to be careful that you don't end up in one that's, well, let's just use the word, "unhealthy". There's a lot of "unhealthy"-ness out there in the religious community today.

Sure, but there's a lot of unhealthy-ness other places as well.

If you're not seeing a lot of peace, patience, kindness, or self-control, stay away.

But this comment, and its siblings, need to be careful about painting with too broad a brush. Religious communities are diverse. Again, there are billions of folks that are into church or weekly worship of some sort... there are too many of them for the entire category of activity to be inherently weird.