It may sound ridiculous (you're going to laugh), but when I find myself stressing over superficial things, it helps me to think of the song "The Grand Illusion" by Styx. To me, no words better sum up the odd complexity that has emerged from humanity. It's my mantra. My wife's mantra is equally ridiculous and true: "it just doesn't matter" from Bill Murray's monologue in Meatballs. Maybe one of these mantras will help you.

I have to also note that in my ~20yrs of corporate experience, the kinder you are, in concert with being as blunt and truthful as possible, the more people will trust and value your input.

I think these traits emerge if you repeat mantra's like the ones above to yourself multiple times a day - when skimming through your emails in the morning (I often just delete or archive all but 1 or 2), when in a meeting that's going in circles or getting heated (I often just smile and leave), when you're running late for work, when you're worried about taking time off, when your air conditioner brakes or you get into a minor fender bender, or $200K of you're employee owned shares are suddenly nullified. It's all a grand illusion, and it just doesn't matter.

This is awesome. Indeed, according to the mystical traditions, enlightenment is about realizing that it is all a grand illusion. (Though I would add, that in addition to "it just doesn't matter" it also matters very, very much!)

Here's another one: It's all part of the human experience.

This is not one to tell others when they struggle, same as yours, but it can help me from time to time.

If it doesn't matter, why go to the job at all?

Some of us like to eat.

So it DOES matter, after all. Screw up enough at job and your ability to eat goes away.

So, here's the point - as a baseline, if you have a fishing pole or can read a book about which plants are edible and which are not, you are not going to starve. Everything else is icing on the cake. Of course your actions matter, but there is a sea of minutiae that people tend to spend time on that simply doesn't matter in the grand scheme of the universe.

You will screw up. There are people smarter than you. Do your best to contribute and be honest about what you know and don't know, and you will be highly valued by your peers.

I like what you said about enlightenment. On a similar note, I tend to say, there is no such thing as those enlightened and those veiled in ignorance, we all shimmer from the same inexplicable source. But otherwise, I read this yesterday (and even submitted it onto this site), you might find it interesting: http://merton.org/ITMS/Seasonal/11/11-4Kronenberg.pdf

I like the last bit: What I am saying is this: the score is not what matters. Life does not have to be regarded as some game in which scores are kept and somebody wins. If you are too intent on winning, you will never enjoy playing. If you are too obsessed with success, you will forget to live. If you have learned only how to be a success, your life has probably been wasted.

"we all shimmer from the same inexplicable source"

Just thought I'd say I love this description.

Enlightenment is just the realisation of to know who you are and know what you have to do instead of thinking you know who you are and thinking you know what you have to do.