What worked for me was not forcing structures in the brain to function through chemicals but actually changing them through a breakthrough treatment called Neurofeedback. It is possible to physically and permanently alter the behavior of the brain and achieve far greater results than any drug could possibly do. Along with proper physical/mental training you can come out far ahead and still retain the "you" instead of some artificial version that may never go away.
The leading specialist in this field can be found on this website. You can find information about it here[1]. After significant research into the functioning of the brain. I realized that ADHD isn't a focusing problem. It's that the focus networks in your brain haven't been adequately trained and require the use of pharmaceuticals to temporarily induce this along with other negative side effects.
But it was also difficult because it was easy to slide back into old habits, and the ADHD would come back. For me it definitely seems to be a sensitization issue, the more generally stimulated I am the more difficult it is to do much of anything aside from the absolute most stimulating things.
The website wasn't super clear on what Neurofeedback was after a cursory glance. Here's the summary from wikipedia[1] for anyone that is curious.
> Neurofeedback (NFB), also called neurotherapy or neurobiofeedback, is a type of biofeedback that uses real-time displays of brain activity—most commonly electroencephalography (EEG)—in an attempt to teach self-regulation of brain function. Typically, sensors are placed on the scalp to measure electrical activity, with measurements displayed using video displays or sound.
Once you are hooked up you are expected look at a screen and listen to some music(usually classical), and try to get your frequency responses below some baseline. Basically strengthening them like a muscle. You actually train yourself based on the feedback the sensors are giving you.
I managed to do some reverse engineering and figure out how the brain works to blow the numbers out of the water. Going from far below average to way above in a matter of months changed my life. I even figured out some things the center never tried before. Like significantly increasing the time I try to maintain the baseline, which allowed me get above average results. There was a lot more I figured out, but far to much for a HN post. Feel free to email for more info. I might make a post on it one day.
I also thought about doing this at home, but the risks are just too great to mess with something as deep as the Sensory-Motor function. I was happy to work with trained experts who monitor and correct problems. There is actually a lot to it, but the treatment is only a few months and you never really need think about it ever again. Since you can focus on doing things instead of endlessly trying improving brain function.
I really need to stop taking stimulants on weekends. Or at least one day a week too. I don’t know if being off them one day a week will help enough. A lot of the issues you cited are happening to me. And the problems you cited of what happens if you take them 7 days a week are happening to me as well.
I also feel trapped by them. I’ve been off them. But my work output drops steadily until I’m barely doing much. I believe if I stay off them long enough I’ll recover. But the two times I’ve tried i give up after 1-2 weeks as I want to get work done and go into a depressive spiral not doing enough.
Especially now being out of work and changing career paths I feel I can’t stop taking my relatively high or at least strong medium dosage.
I don’t want to be on my current dosage once I begin working for an employer. I’m really hoping I can delay work start date by a few weeks and go cold turkey then continue on a lower dosage. Like half.
I wouldn’t want to do work at work, so I’d endlessly scroll Hacker News or Reddit for about a year and a half. I’d leave at three because I was bored. I left one job and got fired from another.
I take prescription amphetamines now. The difference is night and day. Developers I’ve worked with on the medication think I’m intelligent and diligent. Developers who have worked with me off the medication are baffled I got hired. People have a hard time believing they’re talking about the same person. The reward is great, but so are the costs. I’m really irritable in the evenings, and I struggle to be kind and enjoy time with my wife and daughter whom I’m ostensibly doing this for. I can’t just take some in the evenings, or I can’t sleep. It makes me more distant emotionally. My wife can instantly tell if I’ve taken Adderall, and not in a good way. My sense of humor changes, more cutting and rude. I take a drug that changes what interests me. I don’t take it on the weekends, because I’m terrified I’ll develop a tolerance, as happened once before. Tolerance doesn’t mean all effects (including side effects) are diminished. When tolerant the emotional effects seemed to scale linearly, bizarre things like crying on the kitchen floor because my wife didn’t want to talk about Austrian economics at 6am, but the concentration effect would level off and I’d feel foggy. So I sleep 14 hours on weekends, giving me even less time away from work and with my family. Vacations are the best because my wife says I’m “the man she married again” after a few days off the meds. I feel good but maaan am I unmotivated.
I’m not saying I live in some dystopian nightmare. My life is so much better for it. Adderall has made me a firmly middle class citizen, it took me a year and a half of not taking it to realize without it (and propranolol, which reduces anxiety by just a tiny bit), there’s no way I can work a developer job. So every three months I pay the doctor, then pay the pharmacist, and I get a pill that fundamentally alters who I am.