A minor difference: if you want to manage your own risk, you should assume could be lying about taking a birth control pill, whereas you can easily verify someone is wearing a condom.

If I was uncertain whether someone was truly on the birth control pill, I would insist upon condoms if I wanted to fully hedge my risk.

I do see the point you're trying make, but it's a complex issue. I could easily make an argument for the opposite case, that it is rape. But I think being able to verify a condom is being worn makes the situation different enough to treat differently from lying about being on the pill.