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A comment on Career advice I wish I’d been given when I was young. Parent comment

Re:Career advice I wish I’d been given when I was young by maxxxxx on Tuesday April 30, 2019 @07:41PM (#19793131)
this is a tricky one if you are lacking in self-confidence or social skills. When I was younger I tried to be pleasant (or my interpretation of what I thought is pleasant) and came across as boring or a pushover. So I went the other way and became a jerk which I didn't do well either. Now I am a little more balanced but it took me decades to get there.

So I think the advice should be to be pleasant but also not to try to be liked by everyone all the time. Be a complete person with boundaries and be friendly as long boundaries are not crossed. Also have goals and don't be afraid to express them.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:Career advice I wish I’d been given when I was young by derangedHorse on Wednesday May 01, 2019 @09:24PM (#19803634)
An important thing that many people can't seem to understand is how to convey boundaries. I feel like the main separator from an unlikable individual from a likable one is how they express their dislikes to others. Tact is one of the most valuable skills one can have.
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Re:Career advice I wish I’d been given when I was young by tra3 on Friday May 03, 2019 @12:38PM (#19819917)
This seems like a hard learned lesson. Any tips?
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Re:Career advice I wish I’d been given when I was young by skookumchuck on Wednesday May 01, 2019 @01:10AM (#19794685)
It doesn't matter if it is tricky or not. It works, and so keep trying.
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Re:Career advice I wish I’d been given when I was young by maxxxxx on Wednesday May 01, 2019 @08:40AM (#19796513)
The feedback loops are very long so it can be very frustrating to keep trying and failing. It’s also not easy to tell whether something is working or not.
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Re:Career advice I wish I’d been given when I was young by bittercynic on Wednesday May 01, 2019 @09:01AM (#19796625)
The feedback loop is much longer in some situations than others. If you do something where you're regularly meeting new people you'll end up with much faster feedback on how pleasant your behavior is, and the cost of social missteps is lower.
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Re:Career advice I wish I’d been given when I was young by red75prime on Wednesday May 01, 2019 @05:50AM (#19795735)
Many things work. Some are easier to do.
[ Parent | on HN ]