>Are you suggesting that somebody can only be one of pleasant or competent?

I assume they are suggesting what they said - don't make it the number one thing.

If it WAS a binary choice, I'd rather have a competent asshole than an incompetent nice guy.

Being nice is absolutely important, incredibly so - I think we often forget that as engineers - but you still absolutely need to be competent first.

Either skill can be learned, so if you're one and not the other, it's fixable.

You should always strive for both.