I have yet to see a bicycle with bluetooth. (electric bike is not the same thing). My car doesn't have bluetooth - it is only 13 years/250000 miles out so it has plenty of life left (most people replace their cars long before they are worn out, I drive mine into the ground). I haven't seen a leaf rake with bluetooth either, and most lawn mowers still don't have it either.

I'm well aware that the dream phone may never exist. That doesn't mean I don't want it.

You can get a Bluetooth speaker that'll clamp onto your bike for $20, or some earbuds. Expecting a phone to blast out high-decibel music that you can hear while mowing the lawn seems like an insane ask.

My 2010 car didn’t come with Bluetooth either.

I fixed it by replacing the head unit with one that supports Bluetooth and CarPlay. An easy DIY project or you can pay a small fee to have it done for you by an installer.

Right, or I can just get a phone with a loud enough speakers in the first place. I've outlined a number of situations where I want loud noise from my phone. Having the phone solve the problem is more convenient than fixing it in each situation separately.

I don't know if it is possible for the phone to provide this, but it is on my want list.

Slightly off topic, but for power tool work / lawnmowers I can heartily recommend 3M Worktunes. It's like $50 bucks and you get decent bluetooth speakers with ear protection, and the battery lasts all day.

(I assumed they just meant two USB-C or micro-USB ports, not big desktop-style ones)

Two USB sockets is like two SIMs. It sounds crazy to most people who’ve never had them, but for a lot of other people they are / would be amazingly useful.

Bluetooth is not always an option. I often travel/work (military) where i must keep it in airplane mode. Wireless headphones also arent an option. 2 usb ports means when one snaps the phone isnt bricked.

You can definitely use bluetooth on airplane mode