Re:Ask HN: What happens if I have a nervous breakdown?
by mgkimsal on Friday December 03, 2010 @05:50PM
(#1967758)
Applying to Google, Facebook and MS to get a market valuation of your skills sort of implies you'd get an offer in the first place, doesn't it?
You are replaceable, but the result for the company after you're replaced may not be what they or you expect (could go either way - good or bad). I've left some places where I felt things were toxic, and others where I thought I was becoming toxic - too cynical, frustrated, etc.
Don't worry about 'getting your friends out'. They have their own lives. You have yours. You can only help others from a position of strength, not weakness. It doesn't sound like you're in a position of strength. That said, once you get in that position, they may not want helping anyway, but that's way in the future.
Get yourself sorted out. I'd take a long hard look to see if there's a way of staying that will work out for everyone, but likely you should be looking for someplace else. There's tens of thousands of companies out there that are not Google, MS and FB where your skills may be just as valued - probably moreso than at those big 3 you mentioned.
The 'culture' is not going to be changed where you are by your own actions. At best they are tolerated. Unless there's visible efforts of people from all levels actively seeking and enabling the changes you're proposing, it ain't gonna happen, and you're likely being viewed as an eccentric at best, or a troublemaker at worst.
Get out of the bath (as someone else said), and take some time for yourself to do some soul searching about what's best for you - ignore the company, ignore your friends - focus on you - no one else is going to.
You are replaceable, but the result for the company after you're replaced may not be what they or you expect (could go either way - good or bad). I've left some places where I felt things were toxic, and others where I thought I was becoming toxic - too cynical, frustrated, etc.
Don't worry about 'getting your friends out'. They have their own lives. You have yours. You can only help others from a position of strength, not weakness. It doesn't sound like you're in a position of strength. That said, once you get in that position, they may not want helping anyway, but that's way in the future.
Get yourself sorted out. I'd take a long hard look to see if there's a way of staying that will work out for everyone, but likely you should be looking for someplace else. There's tens of thousands of companies out there that are not Google, MS and FB where your skills may be just as valued - probably moreso than at those big 3 you mentioned.
The 'culture' is not going to be changed where you are by your own actions. At best they are tolerated. Unless there's visible efforts of people from all levels actively seeking and enabling the changes you're proposing, it ain't gonna happen, and you're likely being viewed as an eccentric at best, or a troublemaker at worst.
Get out of the bath (as someone else said), and take some time for yourself to do some soul searching about what's best for you - ignore the company, ignore your friends - focus on you - no one else is going to.