I did professional ketamine treatments twice. The first session was over four weeks, with weekly injections given for an hour each session.

It helped tremendously for about 4 months. Then my depression kicked in again, and I enrolled again. This second round I cut off after only two sessions. It was too intense. The first one was exciting and psychedelic. The second was psychedelic but... uncomfortable? It’s hard to describe. I didn’t enjoy it, and stopped after only two.

I can see the possibilities for it, and it did help, if only for a while. But that brief respite from the constant “you’re a shit, James, no one loves you and they never will,” that voice was silenced for a while.

And it was heaven.

I know this sounds strange, but recently I ended up with a prescription for Suboxone, and it has completely cured me of lifelong debilitating depression. I really hope more research is being done. Within the span of one year my career has gone from being on the rocks to skyrocketing success, all because the crushing weight of depression has been lifted from my shoulders. YMMV.

Yeah, it didn’t work for my wife :-(. We were hopeful.

Ketamine is among common psychedelics the most likely to lead to "bad trips", unfortunately. My anesthesiologist friends don't have much good to say about it (but of course they're not concerned with the anti-depressive effect).

SWIM always has very pleasant claymation visuals with K, as opposed to the usual soul-shredding ego death from LSD.

However prolonged use can cause bladder damage and (for the extreme mainliners) k-holes seem correlated to suicidal ideation, so as always tread carefully.

I doubt writing SWIM would ever work so I don't think you need to bother with it.

SWIM disagrees on grounds of plausible deniability, but you do you.

(There is the persnickety universe inside one's head, and there is actual experience. Please speak from experience or remain silent.)

You didn't do enough. At the dose I tried I don't see it as a party drug either, I didn't move.

10-20ml = drinks at a party 20-40ml = clubbing, party drug 40-70ml = in another dimension 70-150ml = khole

Ketamine is unique in that it is very much a different drug at different doses. Do it again and this time do much more.

I've said this before in regards to other substances on this board.

Please, please, please do your own research or talk to a professional before embarking on such things. Think for yourself and don't take advice from random people on any forum. You're too important.

> I don't totally get the appeal as a party drug

it's just not a party drug. Best appreciated in a dark quiet room with someone taking care of the body you leave behind.

I never really understood it either, other than mixing it with MDMA which was like launching into outer space.

You need to do more, triple the dose