I make it a point not to sell myself in superficial ways. I'm privileged not to be hideous to look at, and am not completely uninvested in my image, but I don't chase trends or use self help book tips on how to make people like me. It doesn't really help me to be this way, but I am repulsed by the self perpetuating standard rituals of deference, attention seeking, and status signalling that seem to me to preclude what could be a more genuine form of interpersonal discovery.