Re:A guide to difficult conversations
by treis on Tuesday March 26, 2019 @09:29AM
(#19491569)
>I learnt about I-messages about 10 years ago in a seminar on conflict resolution and have tried to use them eversince. My personal impression is that they have really helped me - in solving conflicts, but also in growing as a person. Because, again purely subjective, my impression is that once you give others your I-messages, they are more likely to also respond with I-messages. Which again helps me to understand others and their needs better.
I've also found the pattern:
You have [Problem]. Lots of people feel [how you feel] about [Problem]. If I did [X] would it solve [Problem]?
To be helpful in every relationship:
"I get that you're mad that I didn't take out the garbage. The kitchen stinks now and everyone hates that. Do you think it'd help if I added a reminder to my phone?"
Re:A guide to difficult conversations
by tomjen3 on Tuesday March 26, 2019 @11:46AM
(#19492876)
My answer to that would be "I don't give a shit what you do, as long as you take out the garbage" and I would _still_ be mad at you (plus annoyed that you asked me for a solution to something that shouldn't be my problem in the first place).
I've also found the pattern:
You have [Problem]. Lots of people feel [how you feel] about [Problem]. If I did [X] would it solve [Problem]?
To be helpful in every relationship:
"I get that you're mad that I didn't take out the garbage. The kitchen stinks now and everyone hates that. Do you think it'd help if I added a reminder to my phone?"