This is not correct. Nicotine may be carcinogenic on its own and is definitely implicated in the advancement of cancer in the presence of other carcinogens, and it interferes with cancer response in the body and even cancer treatment. Caffeine has none of these properties and the usual vehicle for caffeine (coffee) has demonstrated protective effects against various cancers, heart disease, and diabetes.

Battery is dead. Guess I'll just satisfy my addiction with some cigs.

Or gum. Or patches. Or lozenges. Or go buy another vape or recharge your battery. You'd have to go out and buy the cigarettes anyway. It's not like they magically appear in your home.

I can think of several gas stations, liquor stores and convenience stores that sell neither nicotine gum, patches nor lozenges. They all sell cigarettes, though.

Quite. Who the fuck wants to smell of smoke when you can just have lozenges or the gum? Also: actual cigarettes are prohibitively expensive in most countries.

You're a PhD in a medicine/biology field I hope? Because otherwise, it might seem overly presumptuous to think you fully understand the effects of nicotine on health enough to make overarching conclusions. Like, the effects on atherosclerosis.