My specific gripe is with expecting that a statement like "a Lie group is a group object in the category of manifolds" is going to lead to any new theorems in the theory of Lie groups. It's just not, and you are not going to become any better at Lie groups by understanding that statement. It's good to understand at some point, because it unifies the definition of group / Lie group / algebraic group, etc, but it will really not give you anything new to work with.
I think that's true at an elementary level, but on the other hand when one doesn't know what concepts they're looking for in a new area, category theory can be a machete cutting a swathe through the jungle. I think Grothendieck was right :)
The point is of course to motivate the definition of a Lie group. Whether such strong motivation counts as "a better understanding of Lie groups" is largely a matter of semantics that there's some room to disagree over. Same goes for the categorical definition of a ring that's been mentioned at the start of this thread, or indeed the definition that OP talks about.
(Notably, this includes application to a "graphical" treatment of fairly-elementary linear algebra, which a different HN user is mentioning even as I write this, as a part of math where CT cannot possibly be useful and will only ever confuse students!)
The first volume is roughly about set theory and the second volume is roughly about abstract algebra.
https://www.amazon.com/True-Beauty-Math-Foundations/dp/15120...
https://www.amazon.com/True-Beauty-Math-Giving-Life/dp/15448...
https://bartoszmilewski.com/2014/10/28/category-theory-for-p...
I agree that the danker category theory is more useful for research than for teaching. In particular when you want to try to import definitions and theorems from one context to another, or you want to decompose a proof into its abstract skeleton and concrete particularities.
As an example of how "A monad is a monoid... etc." can be useful for the abstraction (i.e. library) builder, if you import this definition of a monad into the bicategory of endoprofunctors, you get arrows [1].
[1] http://www.riec.tohoku.ac.jp/~asada/papers/arrStrMnd.pdf