Oof. I haven't read that classic in awhile. Yeah, most of the things in there can't really be fixed without pulling a Python 3 and intentionally breaking backwards compatibility. And the scary thing is people just brush some of these horrifying things off as non-issues.

PHP was one of my first languages, and it took a long time to break some bad habits it taught. I still can't get over the existence of PHP's "arrays." (Mentioned in the article.) The only data structure is one-size-fits-all. It's truly baffling when you approach it with basic CS knowledge, and the rabbit hole only gets worse...

In the context of what you're doing with PHP, that one-fits-all data structure is all you need. I sincerely doubt you had hurdles in your career because of PHP's array :)

However, let's prove once more that languages evolve: http://php.net/manual/en/book.ds.php

The "classic" you're referring to is far from something objective. There will always be problems with languages. That's why we have the human factor who is supposed to be intelligent and work around the apparent issues and make the computer do useful work despite apparent tool glitches.

Sadly, we're just creating better idiots who are only getting better at whining.

I personally really enjoy the one size fits all array. It’s a serious switch going to any other language though.