To me your experiences only emphasize this point. Large portions of our society have decided that masculinity is inherently toxic. We've also, generally speaking, de-emphasized the role of discipline in parenting (I'm not talking about spanking). Our school system has long been stacked against young boys. I think that, as a society, we've forgotten how to parent children, especially boys.

Children learn from other children. Usually older children. Children are largely being raised by the state and that is never a good thing as it leads to conformity. Educational institutions look at children as future workforce and not as individuals.

My 2c.

As far as defining masculinity, I mean it in the sense that psychologists use it: the traits that are generally common to males.

Do we know enough about the Y chromosome? I think being ‘male’ is a genetic mutation with some undesirable effects. The SRY gene turns on/off around 4-6 weeks after conception determining whether zygote would be XX or XY. This has something to do with gonad formation.

I think fundamentally everyone is formed female as default. Not female = male. Which means it’s the Y. Something is wrong with Y.