Five Years That Changed Dating

Re:Five Years That Changed Dating by miduil on Sunday December 23, 2018 @09:40AM (#18746278)

    requires real first name (bad if you name is too common or too rare; also, it was cool and a great discussion starter)

That is not true, https://help.okcupid.com/article/67-how-to-change-your-name :

    We ask that you use your first name instead of a username,
    but if you're not comfortable showing your first name,
    feel free to use initials or a nickname,
    as long as it's something you're comfortable having your date call you!

Edit: (See other posting in sub-thread)

Also:

   messages only after likes (it changes the dynamics a lot; before I got much more interesting discussions)

I don't think this is a good argument for "tinderification". There were so many people (mostly men) harassing other people (mostly women) on OkCupid. I think this was a proper measurement to reduce unwelcome messages.

https://twitter.com/OKCupidmen

https://shitguyssayonokcupid2.tumblr.com/

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Re:Five Years That Changed Dating by cptskippy on Sunday December 23, 2018 @10:48AM (#18746681)

> There were so many people (mostly men) harassing other people (mostly women) on OkCupid.

I haven't been on in years but I remember when they handed out moderator rights to users. Somehow I got them and could review the flagged messages queues, agree/disagree with flags, and drop notes to other mods.

There seemed to be an equal mix of absolutely batshit crazy men, and women who reported every message they received from someone beneath them.

I feel like the "only message after shared likes" was implemented to address the later primarily.

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Re:Five Years That Changed Dating by stared on Sunday December 23, 2018 @09:59AM (#18746394)

Well, it is possible to fake a name. Still, real names became the default and it changes the global landscape (and a few exceptions, even if allowed, don't change that very much).

> There were so many people (mostly men) harassing other people (mostly women) on OkCupid. I think this was a proper measurement to reduce unwelcome messages.

It is a big problem. Yet, as I said - there are simpler ways to go. E.g. just introducing rating for anything rude, and filtering out plain "Hi"s.

Now the problem is that to see a message a women needs to like a profile. Superficial features say little about if a person is going to be nice or abusive; certainly, much less than the content of the first message. (See the Reddit post I linked.)

And for me personally (men dating women), the quality of interactions, felt drastically. (Apparently, my first messages were inviting enough.) Plus, crucially, if "like first", then why not Tinder?

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