I was classically autistic, but identified eventually that if I was supposed to do something (use green fingerpaint) it created a strong anxiety response, but if I was simply allowed to do something (fingerpaint however I wanted to) there was no anxiety.

I learned to put dishes away by just putting one away, or moving a group from one spot to another, then making another move, but never saying "I'll put them all away" as that created anxiety.