I agree, but also feel it’s a consequence of a reduced role for public living in our cities. I think of this question: How many locations do I have in my life in which I socialize without buying something? There are homes, of course. A few city parks? I’m a member of no social clubs, so not much else. We are seeking alternatives to public life without having the urban and (more importantly) social infrastructure to achieve it.

The whole point is that these services use psychological tactics to make it hard to "stop giving a shit about engagement." Your brain gets addicted to all the little dopamine hits you get from using them, so when you try to just stop using them, it's a bit like going cold turkey. Your brain has to adjust to not getting that constant dopamine drip-feed anymore.

I recently deleted facebook and instagram in an effort to take back my privacy. I really miss the stories feature on instagram. Stories don't have a concept of engagement besides views. People actually post what they're doing throughout the day in small, bite size pieces. I think it's a fantastic way to keep up with people.

Interesting - I see this less as "keeping up with people" and more voyeurism. It feels odd to me when I see someone who I haven't talked to in a while but I know all about what they've been doing/etc.

Eh idk. I’d say that it’s more like going to a play to watch an old acquaintance perform while sitting in the way back where they can’t see. Is that voyeurism? Because on social media, typically the idea is people opt to display their lives so that they can be observed. Idk for me voyeurism implies more of a one sided observation where the observed isn’t really aware or intending.

I think the same thing. I got tired of just liking pictures on IG. I created a side project which sends me email reminders for friends I want to keep in touch with, but are not in my everyday, close circle. Every email has a direct link to Whatsapp, which opens directly into my friend's chat with a pre-set message('Hi!'). It helped me reconnect and start real conversations beyond double tapping a picture.

Chat apps like Discord are great for groups you actually want to keep in touch with. That's what I use for my friends from college

the limit is 30 tags

instagram/facebook public posts were always for acquaintances/broader

most people had groups/groupchats for more personal communication with the closer groups... and those groups have instagram gcs..

im confused did people not understand this?