As an EU citizen (until April, anyway), can I live in that future please?

One could try enacting clear restrictions that do not require a team of lawyers to divine a meaning, and one of lobbyists to make sure the meaning is correct. You can write regulations that take intention and unlawful gains into account. And, finally, you can get somebody that understands the subject to tell you what can actually be done and what is sci-fi.

But it seems that lawmakers worldwide consider themselves above that kind of concern.

Of course there is. You just add a minimum scale requirement before these obligations kick in, so they only affect sites that are big enough both to cause significant problems with illegitimate uploads and to have the resources to do something reasonable about it. Laws are written like this all the time in places with more sensible legal cultures, but the EU is infamous for not understanding why that is useful, and that brings us back to quanticle's point.

This is what I'm referencing in my last sentence, "Even attempts to target legislation tend to have an unquantifiable ripple effect beyond the foresight of naive legislators." This naive view doesn't respect the intertwining nature of businesses of all sizes that work in the industry nor does it take into account the chilling effects on growth (the latter being less of an issue). Small businesses lean on larger ones that might be targeted in a myriad of ways including infrastructure, standards, software, employment, acquisition potential, marketing, etc. Targeting them is like targeting me and to say "only affect sites that are big enough" is part of the classist dialog that too often exists in a utopian vacuum that assumes all results are the exact representation of their intentions.

The principle that some things are too small to be concerned about is a long-standing legal tradition, hence de minimis and so on.

In my own country, the UK, many rules do not fully apply to very small businesses and various extra allowances are made financially, precisely because imposing the same rules on a five-person start-up as a 2,500-person international corporation may be disproportionate.

There is nothing at all unusual or naive about this. It's done all the time. It's just not something the EU in particular has ever been very good at understanding or dealing with. For example, by their own admission, several of the key officials involved in the VAT changes a few years ago literally did not realise that many thousands of microbusinesses that would also be covered by the new rules even existed, nor that the new rules would essential cause them to not exist any more. The new copyright regime we're talking about here is a different context but still has the same underlying problem.

Right, and that's why laws should be worded to minimize the time and resources required to comply with them. Laws like GDPR and Article 13 are like a nominal tax on every business. It's easy for Google and Facebook to throw a few million dollars and a few thousand engineer-hours to take care of compliance with this stuff. It's much more difficult for a 10-person startup with a fixed runway.

Saying "It just takes time and resources to deal with that," is a vacuous statement. It takes time and resources to deal with anything, no matter how large or small. The key factor is how much time? How many resources? And finally, how do the time and resource requirements compare to the time and resources you have on hand?