She was by all accounts from the time, and in retrospect, a star student during her time at Architectural Association. Not just a top student but an exceptional student. She was also fierce in her determination to succeed, something still difficult for a woman at that time in a male dominated industry full of egos. She persevered, and like a lot of women of that time who did, were punished for it.
As well, I've heard plenty of stories about her treatment of staff which is inexcusable behavior, however that's immaterial to her artistic vision and capability.
Her connections certainly helped her career, yes, they always do in business. She wasn't exceptional because of her wealth.
I'm not sure where you get your info that she was a star student - by all accounts I know of she struggled at times at the AA, and often didn't get great grades. She was quite headstrong (which is kind of what they teach you) and got on with some people and not with others.
There's other great women in the world of Architecture too like Sejima or Carme Pigem (both themselves Pritzker prize winners) who get much less attention by non-architects. And run their practices in a much less exploitative way
In architecture, this is the rule rather than the exception.
Its not uncommon at Starchitects to be like this, but Zaha to my knowledge was one of the worst.
Now of course its not the same and the practice can support itself at least to some extent, but whether it can do this over the long run is still a question.
Her treatment of young staff which varies from exploitative to abusive to helpful depending who you ask, is not very different to other Starchitects.