> In my wife's case, they just said to trust them that it was a valuable offer.

Wow, that's rich! You trust us, but we can't trust you. That dissonance pretty much makes it an auto-fail.

Not sure how this works elsewhere, but in the UK you can find public documents submitted by companies (including private ones) on the Companies House website and find out how many shares are outstanding (as well as some basic information about current shareholders).

Delaware - where most of these startups are incorporated - does have a way for employee-investors to get this information

Except you have to be an employee share or options holder already

And you have to sue for it (or launch an administrative proceeding)

/facepalm

Not a thing in the US for private companies.

In the US, corporations are filed with one of the 50 states. The information that becomes public record varies by state, but you can always get the registered agent and some basic information about it (date it was created, name, etc). Sometimes that includes share counts, sometimes it doesn't. You can also generally pay a nominal fee (tens of dollars) to get an official copy of filing documents.

Some people feel cagey about saying how many have been issued (or even what stakes the investors have), but anyone that doesn’t share authorized is either confused or deceptive.

I would say though, don’t assume malice! Some people really believe that they’re supposed to keep this secret to protect their investor info or something.