Denying reality, however bad it may be, hurts in the end more since this sometimes subtly, sometimes not so subtly influences action to avoid the thing I denied out of being. Once everything is allowed there is not much necessity to deny the thing that is stopping you (me in this case). Imagine a central belief that can bring many useful actions to a halt just by being there.

Blame is from other people. You can deny all blame. You do not have to blame yourself. That's a thing which I haven't been taught before. Since I did rather the reverse, it needed the exact opposite to work out. Only consequences are physical. That's why only those matter.