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Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by bragh on Saturday November 24, 2018 @06:53AM (#18521609)
There is a good reason why people are escaping small towns. If you are even a little bit outside of the mold, such as being into reading instead of cars as a guy, you will be ostracized by a huge part of the community. And may God have mercy on you if you are into the really weird stuff, such as liking programming, tinkering with electronics or anime.
Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by clarry on Saturday November 24, 2018 @07:28AM (#18521722)
I do not believe people are leaving small towns because they can't watch anime or whatever.

They're leaving small towns because small towns are not the place to look for education and work.

Idk what constitutes small in your book. I grew up in towns of around 10k to 23k people. Had no trouble being a nerd, playing video games, reading, watching anime, coding.

Now I'm in a city an order of magnitude larger, and more lonely than I've ever been before.

Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by kitten_mittens_ on Saturday November 24, 2018 @07:54AM (#18521804)
I lived in the Northeast Megalopolis for a bit before moving to Germany.

In the eastern US, I didn’t know anyone prior to moving there for work. The city was very anonymous, to put it lightly. The only people talking to you on the street were homeless.

I’d go to meetups and flit around, but it was hard to put down roots where everyone was friends with their college buddies from MIT or Harvard. The school I went to in the West isn’t famous for anything other than football.

I moved to Germany figuring that I didn’t have much to lose, being deracinated and all. It’s strange how many more people try to talk to you on the street. Mostly drivers and older ladies asking for directions.

Since I don’t speak German, I’m very isolated now though. It’s easy to discount interactions with service workers at CVS or Whole Foods when you’re going through them, but I think that it’s the sort of foundational thing even loners like myself need.

Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by clarry on Saturday November 24, 2018 @08:05AM (#18521831)
I was going to make an example out of these interactions..

My experience is that in smaller towns you see the same store clerks, mailmen, and other service people again and again and they will recognize you. Some will have a little chat with you, and you get to talk about your life every once in a while, even if just a little. That kind of daily interaction is a heck of a lot more than one might have living in the isolation of a big city where the same service people are too busy serving too many faces to really recognize or chat with you. For a total loner, it could mean a lot.

Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by thomasz on Saturday November 24, 2018 @09:43AM (#18522205)
Are you taking lessons in German? Besides teaching you important skills, those are great opportunities to meet a huge variety of people in a somewhat similar situation.
Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by Ensorceled on Saturday November 24, 2018 @07:41AM (#18521766)
I grew up near a town of 1200 that was 30km from a city of 20k. I was considered odd for enjoying reading but luckily went to a feeder high school of 1500 kids so met up with fellow geeks.

10k is not a small town.

Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by clarry on Saturday November 24, 2018 @08:08AM (#18521837)
Ok, sure.

Did you leave the vicinity of that small town because you were into reading?

Or did you leave it to get an education & a job?

Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by Ensorceled on Saturday November 24, 2018 @08:21AM (#18521874)
Both. People ask if I will return to my home town when I retire and “hell no” is always my response.
Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by yhoneycomb on Saturday November 24, 2018 @10:18AM (#18522351)
The oneupmanship going on here is ridiculous. Both towns are incredibly small to me.
Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by richardknop on Saturday November 24, 2018 @07:07AM (#18521650)
I don’t think this has anything to do with small town vs big cities. Loneliness is a problem also in big cities.
Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by randomdata on Saturday November 24, 2018 @08:57AM (#18522013)
Escaping? There is a small town resurgence going on around here. I imagine it is being mostly driven by the excessive cost of housing in larger centres, but with that comes people with wider interests.
Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by chrisseaton on Saturday November 24, 2018 @09:15AM (#18522089)
Do people on HN really believe that people in smaller towns don’t read?
Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by wild_preference on Saturday November 24, 2018 @09:40AM (#18522179)
Yeah, and kinda shows their age wrt "haha this guy uses a computer, what a nerd."

Even playing video games is pretty cool and mainstream now.

Re:How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart by bengrunfeld on Saturday November 24, 2018 @07:06AM (#18521647)
You just need to make up for the weirdness by hosting a BBQ every now and again. No one's gonna be made at you if you fill them up with a bit of meat and beer ;)