I agree with your last point. Anecdotally, as a kid I hated having a full schedule of mandatory activities, constant regiment, always getting ready. My friends who were the most stressed and unhappy were the ones with the most extracurricular responsibilities. Yet their parents were always pleased that they took on 4 AP classes, did 3 seasons of sports, lead role in the play, stem program after classes, etc. just to build up a college resume rather than improve a child’s happiness.