I'm in the same boat as you. I do these long trips, and also have multiple laptops and lots of camera equipment. I use a backpack for my carry-on, because that is less likely to be checked/gate checked, but even that is a problem because now airlines reduced the weight limit of carry on items and started aggressively enforcing this. There is simply no way my photo equipment will weigh less than 8kg. Impossible.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I would gladly pay money if they allowed me the usual old 23kg standard.