I applaud your optimism, I really do. Just don't go thinking you failed in life when you inevitability find yourself eating chicken nuggets at Disneyland for the third year running, whilst your children (that you love dearly) insist on yet another Disney Princess dress. :)

I have traveled this way since 1983, and I can remember showing up in Indonesia with my two kids, who were less than 10 at the time, without a room at 11 PM and walking around throughout the night until we found a great place to stay. I had just bought them their backpacks that year. Years on I lived with my newborn baby, my third child, in a rice-farming village in East Java for a year, and after a few months, I felt I was back in Brooklyn by identifying with the similarities of the situation and personalities of my neighbors. Travel changes your perspective both in immediate, new ways, and in long, introspective stretches. I recommend it if there is an itch you feel you need to scratch. I have never regretted any of it. I had already traveled a lot of SE Asia when I saw The Beach, and I liked it, especially the contrast between the new arrival and the has-beens of backpacking. The Jungle (2017) is another film worth watching based upon the true story of Yossi Ghinsberg and his ordeal in the Amazon rainforest in Bolivia back in the 1980s.

It's far from _inevitable_. As the GP writes, it is the spirit and openness of the journey that is important and this can work for families and older people. Of course you adapt to suit your party.

When backpacking with kids, we only relocate every week or two, not every few days. We have rest days for schoolwork. When cycle touring, we don't go more than 50km in a day. We eat a lot more icecream. But it is still unplanned, unscheduled and intimate.

Agreed 100% if you substitute "when you inevitably" for "if you against your best efforts".

We did this before we had kids; those were the best vacations. South Africa, Iceland, New York and New Zealand. We booked a room for the first day or three (Australia is a 24h flight, you wanna do that) and from there planned our vacation.

There is no way I'd do it again with the kids in tow. Sure, it goes well 95% of the time. That 5% time when you can't find anywhere to sleep except a trailer park from hell or a disgustingly dirty backpackers ran by drunk/high perverts is something I'd never risk with young kids.

One of our best vacations was one of the few package tours we did, this time to Egypt. It was via a company who do backpacker-style vacations. It was fantastic because our guide was excellent and we had contact with the locals. They used public transport wherever it was possible too, which although uncomfortable it felt better. We did a package in this case because it's also a country which simply isn't safe to be driving around in as westerners..

I have already commented above about my experiences backpacking with children, however, I have never had the "drunk/high perverts" situation, since I was going to remote or less-traveled areas. Sure if you show up anywhere like Bali, Indonesia in the summer, you are going to be swimming in drunk Aussies doing the same as the American Spring Break crowds in Florida, however, try making it to villages where you can find a camp site, or lodging and perhaps help out the locals with a small donation of your knowledge, time (work) or money. I've fixed well pumps or small diesel engines on rice-farming tractors (the kind the guy surfs on a board behind to flatten the previous harvest's remains before sowing the next batch).

> Its one of those things that the more money you put in, the less rewarding and more bland experience you are getting back

I was lucky enough to do a trip a while back with a relative that gets travel discounts and comps, and we combined budget backpacking with stays at some of the finest hotels in Thailand, including this place: https://www.sixsenses.com/resorts/yao-noi/destination

I recall that the breakfasts were sublime - they had something like 20 different varieties of ice cream, and fantastic pastries. The chef was originally from California and would talk you through the various delights on offer that morning. A fantastically peaceful, beautiful place, and an experience that's difficult to get on a budget.

OMG the breakfasts.

I also alternated between backpacking and occasional posh hotels