That recapitulates my experience as well from living in SF. There was a feel of the city that has since disappeared. For me the breaking point was in the early 2010s, when I noticed all my nontech friends disappearing - they were getting priced out and moving, mostly out of state. And the conversations in tech changed too, from doing interesting and weird and exploratory things, to conversations about money, getting vc funding, and working on things that will make even more money.
The vibe was turning into a 90s wall street, and not the old city where everybody was a misfit and did their own weird thing. That's probably the part I miss the most.
But that's the point: the difference in rent is much smaller than the difference in market salaries.
"Your whole paycheck goes to the landlord."
If you're an engineer with a $150k salary, which is at the low end for most companies you've heard of that have offices in the Bay Area, then it's very unlikely you spend anything close to your whole paycheck on rent.
In your 150k example you're using 1/3rd of your salary just for rent (assuming you get 150k, net).
[1] https://www.rentcafe.com/average-rent-market-trends/us/ca/sa...
That's a saving of $30k/year, or maybe $40k/year before tax.
From what I understand from reading comments here, salaries in places with lower cost of living are not just $40k/year less, but much much less.
And for those earning more than $150k, the math works out even more in favour of the Bay Area, as the % drop in salary goes up with salary, whereas the $40k rent difference doesn't.
If you don't mind living in a rented room or commuting >1hr a day and shop exclusively at amazon and costco, the bay area is a great opportunity to save money.
If you're a software your aim is to buy a decent home in $US_CITY at some point, the easiest way to come up with large downpayment is to work in the Bay Area for a few years. You don't have to live in the Bay Area forever.
https://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/apa/d/old-mountain-view/667...
https://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/apa/d/pet-friendly-house-nr...
Sounds good enough to start a family to me.
And of course, once you become a little bit more senior and your salary goes over $200K, you won't mind spending so much on rent and will start saving significantly more than elsewhere.
It's possible that there is a natural filter in play here, with the people whose salary is not increasing significantly basically forced to leave.
California's housing problem, particularly the Bay Area's, is a symptom of its political dysfunction. The Bay Area's elite consistently optimize for the short term.
It's tolerable if you're a just out of college bachelor/ette, but if you want to have a bit more space (let alone a family) you pretty much have to leave unless you've gotten rich. Even for young people if you do the math your big Bay Area salary actually doesn't get you ahead as much as a slightly lower salary in a much lower cost of living city. Your whole paycheck goes to the landlord.
A secondary factor caused by real estate hyperinflation is that all the stuff that once made the SF Bay Area so interesting has been priced out. I remember the Bay Area in the 1990s. It was a hub not just of tech but of art, music, and culture. It was a magical in a way that's hard to explain today, and I say this as someone who only visited. My main experience of it was from the culture and "vibe" it exported. All that is gone now. It's a glorified office park. Why spend so much to live there if it's no different from any other city?