Do people become addicts because of moral failing? In some (many?) cases, yes. Not all, and not undeserving of treatment/help to recover in any case.
I don't know where I stand on the issue of incarcerating people for drug use. But on its face I am not opposed to putting people in jail for selling highly addictive substances to young kids. This is one issue I have with the pro-legalization theory. Alcohol absolutely destroys lives (my grandmother drank herself to death when my mom was 13 in order to have some mental escape from the physical abuse of my alcoholic grandfather). Prohibition didn't seem to work very well, but general acceptance also seems to be failing.
It's a complicated issue, and I don't know where I stand on every aspect of it. But on its face I don't think punishment and help are mutually exclusive. And the fear of punishment _can_ be an effective deterrent. (Education being, in my opinion, the best deterrent. I've never had a drop of alcohol both because of my religious beliefs and the growing understanding that I'm very likely a drunk trapped in a sober body.)
Then we are still not talking about the same kind of punishment. I refer more to "they did this to themselves and have it coming" types of attitudes, of the self-serving moral outrage kind[0]. Which is not the kind of "tough love" you are talking about.
[0] http://reason.com/blog/2017/03/01/moral-outrage-is-self-serv...
IMO you're judging yourself harshly. For most people who use drugs and/or alcohol a hangover is the worst consequence. If you're around other people using them and they're having fun I expect it's very hard to stay conscious of the fact that the risks are elevated for you, given your family history
When I reached out to my parents my (normally quiet and ultra-supportive) mom’s first words were, “I thought you were smarter than that.” And her next sentence was, “How can we help you?”
Once someone is trapped preaching ceases to be helpful. But preaching the morality of good decision making to avoid the pitfalls of vice can help prevent people from entering the funnel.
My view is unlikely to be popular on this board, but I think your point is a classic example of the either-or fallacy.
“Playing around with biohazards is bad. Oh, the bottle broke and you’re sick? Well... let’s get you to the hospital.”
“Drugs and alcohol have the potential to absolutely destroy your life and the lives of people you love. You’re an alcoholic? Let’s get you the help you need.”