When I used to socialize a bit more around SF, there definitely was social cache to being part of a unicorn. Declare that you worked at [Uber, Facebook, Airbnb, Square] and you'd have people wow or talk about how smart you were. There is a huge social capital element here.

ah okay, I always sort of imagined it would be like that in SF. I live in a metro area that is not as tech-oriented. when I tell people I'm a software engineer at parties, the only thing they find impressive is that I actually have a full-time job.

When I used to live in a "normal" part of the country, telling people I'm a Software Engineer would usually lead to one of two things: 1. They'd pivot to asking me where I worked (which I didn't feel comfortable sharing with a random stranger, since I worked for a small enough place that it felt a little too specific) 2. They'd lump me in with the annoying IT guy who fixed their stupid Windows issues at work.

Now that I do live in the SV area, I guess I carry some of this baggage with me. I work for the sort of place that would get me local "street cred," but still feel uncomfortable sharing it. Then again, I'm also raising a family and never go to parties anymore, so the opportunity doesn't actually manifest.

I am genuinely curious about the tech start-ups that give you "street-cred" in SF. At most of the places I hang out at they dislike techies and blame on them the rising rent prices, monoculture, in general the cultural demise of the city.

Actually at most parties or bars I have to "hide" that I work in tech, or come to terms with "that guy who works in tech... but hey he's ok, unlike the rest of the lot".

So, I 'm honestly wondering where you guys get high fives for being part of a unicorn around here! (referring mostly to the parent posters)

My time in the party scene was basically '09-11, which was before Techies became The Evil Empire. Back then folks were like "Oh, you work for Google, that's awesome, I love your products." Or even more specifically, "Woah, you worked on [Google doodles|the front page of Google|GFiber], I remember seeing that, tell me more about it." It was starting to change around 2012, but right around then I got a girlfriend, got married, and had a kid, and so I basically only have time to hang out with either my wife's friends (for whom I'm just "X's husband") or the friends I made at Google. I'm vaguely aware that much of SF hates techies (and ironically, a few of my wife's Peace Corps friends are in that bucket, which makes for awkward attempts to mix friends groups), but I don't hang out with those people, nor have I worked for a big tech company for going on 4 years now, so it doesn't affect me much. South Bay - where I go to random meetups - is still very tech friendly because that's basically all people do here.

Interestingly, when I go back home to New England, I get a much warmer reception introducing myself as an ex-Googler than in SF. I still have schoolkids at my high school ask me about what it was like to work on Google Doodles, and I ran into a nice ex-hockey-player on a ferry in Connecticut that asked what I did ("software", without elaboration) and then was like "Oh, that sounds exciting, you must make bank" ("I do okay...").

Anyways, I grew up as a nerd in a small town in the 80s, and whatever hate techies get in SF now is nothing compared to that. The U.S. (and probably the world) has fragmented into a lot of micro-tribes recently that all seem to hate each other, but at least they're tribes where it's not terribly difficult to find others who share your values and appreciate what you do, while in the 80s it was monolithic American culture vs. any individuals unfortunate enough to be different. Techies had a brief moment on top from 1995-2000 and again from 2005-2011 where they were getting rich and the rest of the world was enjoying the products they built, but now that most people take for granted the Internet & mobile world they've built, it's just another corporate industry.

Not in SF/SV but maybe in parties with a lot of unicorn employees?

I get a lot of "oh yep, you look the type". Ouch.

I get a lot of "you're very social for a computer person".

I guess it's a compliment, but it feels a little backhanded.

It could be worse....

I get both the “I’m not like most computer people” and

“You don’t sound Black”. That’s usually from old White southern people. At that point I usually just do the southern retort “Bless ya heart”

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bless%20your...

not a compliment.

I dunno, I know a lot of 'compliments' are nothing of the sort, but I can see this one being well-intended. It's not actually saying anything bad about the target, just awkwardly pointing out that they don't really fit a negative stereotype. And because 'socialness' isn't a quality where more is always better, it doesn't have quite the same damning-with-faint-praise vibe as it would if it were about, say, intelligence or looks.

Pointing out that someone does not really fit a negative stereotype will ussally not be perceived as a positive.

I said usually, because it is possible to convey different meanings by tone of voice and other non-verbal means.

But, based on the words alone, it will not be interpreted positively.

> Pointing out that someone does not really fit a negative stereotype will ussally not be perceived as a positive.

Agreed, I just think this is relatively likely to be one of the exceptions, or at least to be genuinely well-intended. Partly because it's not so likely to seem like damning with faint praise, and partly because the stereotype itself is less deeply offensive than e.g. racism.

(Especially if the trait in question is something like sociability, rather than social skills. If someone says they find me less introverted than they expected based on my profession, it's hard to take much offense at that. I think calling someone 'very social' is a bit ambiguous, but I lean toward interpreting it this way.)

I got a complement that i don't sound montonouus like a programmer.

Other time, someone said but i don't imagine you as a tech bro.

I live in a public service town that's far more educated than the average city, a huge IT presence but it's mostly boring enterprise IT. Hard for "systems programmer" to stand up next to "diplomat" or "international anti-people-trafficking lawyer" in terms of party cred.

DC?

CBR.

The Silicon Valley region is one of the few places where being a Software Engineer is considered a normal and mainstream career.