Re forks, I believe there was a historical difference in which the American etiquette rule was that, after cutting food, you had to put the knife down, move fork to right hand, and then eat. The English rule instead was to keep the fork in the left hand both while cutting and for eating food. Neither would rotate the fork to shovel position.

Edit: spent 10 minutes googling for the right Miss Manners link, but failed. However I may be wrong on the shovel thing, that may actually be encouraged, I'm not sure.

I was definitely taught to eat this way, scolded if I didn't put the knife down and return the fork to my right hand, along with when to abandon a piece as inedible, rather than change from eater to butcher. I am pretty sure I was also trained to use the fork to lift food and not to stab at it. It amuses me to hear this called "shoveling" as the intent is to be less crude. I was likewise trained to only dip a spoon away from me, which avoids any impression of shoveling or bailing food towards the face. Also, numerous details about the staging of bread and butter to a bread plate and when to break it by hand and when to take a bite.

My casual adult practices and lost memories would definitely disappoint my maternal ancestors... My mother was from a mixed family of blue-bloods from the US northeast and German immigrants a couple generations removed. She probably married "down" with my father, my inculcation thus diluted. She didn't talk about it much, but I think there was some pressure to conform to those blue blood ways within her extended family. I believe her sister was involved in the Daughters of the American Revolution and was also put through some sort of finishing school when young. I hear an odd echo of that aunt whenever I hear Martha Stewart speak. I remember events with very formal table settings when I was a small child, though I have forgotten many of the procedural details for upwards of 5 utensils per place.

All of this is to say: it is a formal cultural practice at least in parts of the US, not some absence of training. I would also believe it has some origins in a display of disarming, much like a hand-shake and other rituals. I wonder if anyone from the UK can comment on whether there are notable regional or class-based practices and any that seem to match the American method described here. I would expect there were British roots, though it might have died out.

More practically, the US method limits eating to a polite pace. Out of context, European and East Asian eating methods look extremely crude to an American eye, with people shoveling, lapping, and slurping food towards their faces. In context, I of course realize they are culturally expected and my American way would seem odd or perhaps even disdainful.

As an aside, I found it interesting to learn how Thai people use a fork and spoon. They use a spoon in their right hand much like an American uses a fork, except they may keep a fork ready in the left to assist in loading much like a European uses their knife (but with hands reversed). But, if an item needs to be cut, the spoon is suddenly a knife without any hand switching and the fork may control the item as it does in American hands.

Cool thanks for the data point. I'm still mildly shocked to re-discover about the shovelling, this was certainly not allowed... jokers would ask how you were then supposed to eat peas on the convex side of the fork, but clearly any cook worth their salt would have thought ahead & avoided this. (But the soup, and bread, rules sound similar.)

It would indeed be interesting to know if there used to be regional variants in the UK. Actually, do you have a feeling for whether this has strong regional ties in the US, e.g. to Virginia vs Boston?

Obligatory book plug: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albion%27s_Seed (as long as you have a decent tolerance academic writing) and http://www.colinwoodard.com/americannations.html (some overlap, much less formal).

  I eat my peas with honey
  I've done it all my life
  It does taste kind of funny,
  but it keeps them on the knife.

– Anon., possibly Ogden Nash

How does a cook prepare peas to be eaten with an upside-down fork? Or does proper etiquette demand not eating tasty, healthy, cost-effective foods if they interfere with making a fancy show of putting food in your mouth?

I thought the cook was supposed to make sure to serve gravy, or mashed potatoes, or something like that to help.

(In case you circle back to this vital topic!)

Is the knife swapping practice completely American or is it European? I've never heard of that being done here in the UK.

Its a known thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNE2DhQ1AZ4

I think I eat the "American way" here in Brazil. I eat rice and beans almost every lunch and I just have to use the fork as a spoon..

-edit-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fypq2qhRZnI Also worth noting that both ways are considered good etiquette in this video, but considered childish by most people commenting.

The european way seems to a piece of meat in the end of the fork to "hold" the vegetables/rice - but this would depend on always having meat available until you finish the plate? Its complex...

It's true that Europeans keep the fork in the left hand, but I've never seen anyone keep it with the tined pointing down and doing that meat blocker thing. I'm used to the fork bring returned to tines up position after cutting meat and then the knife gets used to gently push food onto the fork.

>> they cut everything first and then use the fork in the right hand for eating

I am European too, but I heard this from an American. A knife is a weapon. They try to quickly get it out of their hand, in order that everyone else is able to relax.

No, that’s not a thing here. Your American was pulling stuff out of his keister.

Many Americans don’t learn to properly use a knife and fork because of the ubiquity of fast food - many of us never really have to.

Go to a part of the country that’s upper SES, everyone knows how to properly use a knife and fork.

My theory is that the US is a much less formal society and eating the European way is hard and requires training and correction by parents. If the goal is to just get food in your mouth with a fork and knife you end up eating much closer to the American way. It's worth noting that my wife who grew up in a very formal household in NYC eats the European way.

America was founded on the principle of egalitarianism (despite the flawed implementation), so class-shibboleth etiquette rules like formal-dancing with your fork while you eat didn't take deep hold here.