This is really great advice. Being too stressed during an interview is not good for looking like a good job candidate. I’ll have to check out that book too, because I personally get a little too stressed public speaking, so thanks for the recommendation. That’s one of the great things about questions like these is they can be very relatable and you get such great advice from all walks of life.

Thanks. Since you mentioned public speaking, I would also strongly recommend Toastmasters as a way to improve your public speaking and overcoming-anxiety skills. I've personally tried it, and it really helped.

Thanks, I’ll have to check that out too. Just bought The Inner Game of Tennis and read up past the introduction. Seems like it will be very insightful.

I have been planning to join Toastmasters for the past 2 years but for procrastination!

If you tell yourself (and actually do, if required) that you'll only participate as an audience and not to actually do public speaking, you may get yourself over the 'thing' that may be behind the 'procrastination'.

I had a bunch of friends recommend Calm to me. I started using this morning - here's to paying it forward: https://www.calm.com/

Did you like it?

I love public speaking. It’s just that I have to get there.

I think I took off about a year after I graduated, I kept working at my job and then when I decided to look for work it all lined up just perfectly. Look for jobs that want new programmers or interns is all I can say.

Also:

You do not have to ace the interview just show promise.

What I mean is, even I've gone through interviews where I didn't know all the answers and they still kept wanting to follow up with me. Don't be too harsh on yourself.

> where I didn't know all the answers and they still kept wanting to follow up with me.

Absolutely this. The primary purpose of the interview is to establish whether or not you are competent enough to do the job. This doesn't necessarily mean having all of the skills out of the box, but whether you are capable of picking them up and have the basis to do so. Best piece of advice I could give is don't lie. If you don't know the answer, say so. But, better to follow up with "...but, this how I think it might work" or "...but, this is how I would go about finding the solution".

One of my purposes in interviews was literally to get the candidate to say they didn't know. We can work with people that know their limits; can't work with a bumbling fool that knows no bounds.

>One of my purposes in interviews was literally to get the candidate to say they didn't know.

This. It's ok to admit you don't know everything in an interview. Some of my most glowing feedback from interviews came from interviews where I answered questions with a flat out "I don't know"

Yep, when I'm interviewing a developer, if they try to bullshit an answer I instantly lose trust in them. How can I trust their work if, when they don't know something, they just try to BS their way through? Far more healthy to admit they don't understand and seek help / guidance from those who might. Humility is an important developer trait.

This. If you can move in with your parents, or don't need to start making money immediately, I'd prioritize dealing with your mental health issues. See a therapist or do some meditation. Whatever you need to do to get centered again. If things are that bad for you, even if you get a job, you're either going to have trouble keeping it or make yourself miserable doing it.

This is great advice as well and is pretty much exactly the path I took after graduating with a CS degree. I had an internship leading up to my graduation that I really did not enjoy. I ended up leaving earlier than expected because I felt the need to focus on my mental health and address deeper questions about what I wanted out of life. I did not feel ready to start a career.

I ended up taking about 2 years to examine and reflect upon my situation. Meditation played a huge part during this time. I traveled, explored new hobbies and ideas, and experienced different ways of life. I eventually ended up moving back home to live with my parents as I continued to sort things out.

Currently, I feel much more stable and have a clearer idea of how I want to move forward. I now have a plan to move out and pursue a career utilizing my degree and feel very excited about the future. Taking time off to reflect in this way has been indispensable for me.

As a medical student who also happens to have a CS degree, might I suggest that a councillor is an excellent idea, and a psychologist or psychiatrist might also be worthwhile.

As someone with dreadful experiences of the metal health system, I think the very last thing you want to do is see a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are expensive and look at brain chemistry, more than likely you’ll end up on some sort of medication which you likely don’t need.

By all means see a counsellor or a psychologist, but unless you have deep psychological issues where you are getting to an unbelievably unbearable point where medication might help you, see a psychologist first and leave the psychiatrist out of it.

And, in case anyone thinks I hate psychiatrists - I don’t. I just feel they aren’t that helpful in the sort of situations you describe here.

I don't know where you live, but generally that is applied to people who have all the other things and are still unhappy. Psychiatrists will generally try to steer you towards healthy fulfilling social lifestyles, and only then if you are still unhappy then usually you have some chemical imbalance that can be fixed, why be too proud rather than just fix it.

I don't know where you live, but of the two psychiatrists I've seen both wrote me a prescription on my second appointment. And frankly, my mental health isn't the worst.

There are great psychiatrists out there, but honestly the two issues are that their main tool is medication which is a very blunt instrument, and they still only know so much about the brain.

Unfortunately, for every great psychiatrist, there are just as many truly awful ones and despite their medical degree they can totally botch your diagnosis.

That’s my opinion anyway, take it as you will.

Antidepressants are a first-line therapy. They're often very helpful in enabling people to make the changes that will help them improve their long-term health. They're excessively stigmatized however, which is incredibly unfortunate.

With good reason, the last medication my psych gave me left me with liver damage.

The side effects you experienced are unfortunate; if it happened to me, I would be very angry. However, the stigma around mental health is real and prevents many people from getting the help that they need. You can be angry without contributing to the stigma.

Actually, I found that the psychiatrists I saw universally did not listen to me, and one even told me to live with injustice (!!). I feel that the stigma is caused by the medical profession.

Psychiatrists are basically drug gatekeepers. They don't really listen to your problems, they just try to infer what medication is best for you (in a 10 min window) depending on how you act.

Was covering the bases as I'm not familiar with the US primary care system - here in Australia a general practitioner can refer you for CBT and start antidepressants themselves, but I'm not sure how that extrapolates around the world.

For what it's worth, antidepressants have a very valid part to play in the treatment of depression, as do various other psychopharmacologies. I've taken medication for performance anxiety in the past and it helped me overcome some real challenges.

That said, talk therapy with a good psychologist is also very useful both alone and in combination with drugs.

I’m an Australian.

A good therapist helps, a bad one will make things worse. This is speaking as someone who has only had bad therapists and is a thread away from giving up on the healthcare industry altogether. American healthcare is a disgusting joke.

I added a separate comment to add some information about my situation. It addresses your question and advice too.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17594084

+1 on Inner game of Tennis. Life changing book there.