(2) The accession process is meant to smooth the transition, nobody is suggesting opening up the floodgates tomorrow and seeing what happens, that's hyperbolic. Any abolition of movement restrictions would have to be gradual to be successful, and you could use EU accession as a model.
(3) EU member states are required to meet certain very high standards on social services and welfare. The whole bloc has socialized medicine. Member states have reciprocity agreements ensuring migrants have access to the same level of care they'd get back home (look up EHIC cards for instance). This is not much different from how Canada administers social programs between provinces.
Europe absolutely has free social services, democracy and freedom of movement -- and a very successful economy. The GDP of the EU is 21T PPP adjusted in 2017. The US is 18T.
Switzerland is a classic model of controlled borders and mandatory visa regime, which in some cases and for some purposes can be waived.
(2) What happened in Germany and some other EU countries in 2015, is antithesis to gradual opening of the border.
(3) That's only for the citizens of EU; not for citizens of third countries, i.e. not exactly what proponents of open borders fight for.
For people, who do not have a good visualisation skills for numbers, there's this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPjzfGChGlE
The point is, if you want to help the people in the rest of the world, you have to help them in their countries, which I wholeheartedly agree.
You can not have both free social services and totally open borders without ruining your economy. Pick one or another.