On top of that my parents fought like cats and dogs almost everyday.
The only thing that helped me survive and succeed was my competitive nature and perseverance. I worked hard, and still do, for things I want. I am not trying to brag, but starting in abject poverty and then ending up in a one of the biggest American cities making $200k is surreal.
I see the term surviorship bias quite a lot on HN and I sometimes feel it applies to me. When debates happen on Africa and poverty I tend not to be as sympathetic. I get impatient and rather want Africans to discuss how we can start building our own electric cars and solar power stations. Which is interesting because most of my cousins are still in the village and running water and healthcare are their biggest concerns. Having ended up in technology and living in a fairly modern city I have to consciously change mindset between understanding the latest features on Postgresql and applying my mind to getting basics such as runnning water to my village.
I "made" it because I am stubborn, had parents who believe in education and because I hate being beholden to someone. I am beholden to by boss but hey we can't have everything.
There's definitely a survivorship bias. It worked out for me with lot of hard work and few strokes of luck here and there. I know bunch of my classmates from grade school who couldn't do much with their lives because they lacked resources and opportunities.
I understand your impatience with your countrymen, but without enough resources and opportunities, it's hard to make any progress for vast majority. I know Americans like to tell their less fortunate to pick themselves up with their bootstraps, but that's an almost impossible task, literally and figuratively.
...and lucky. One African to another: it took me hard work, determination, and a whole lot of luck. It wasn't just one thing - but a chain of fortuitous events. My path is certainly not repeatable, so I'm certain my story is that of survivorship bias. I know lots of smarter/more hard-working people who didn't catch the same break that I did. Can you honestly say that you're that much better than your cousins?
I agree with you on the determination and hard work. There is no substitute.
On luck, do agree it plays a role. I think the first bit of luck is the parents you are born to. My grandmother had seven children. I have at last count between 50-60 cousins. Probably higher number of nephews and nieces. Some of my cousins are already grandparents. My dad was the last born so some of my cousins are almost as old as he is.
Now back to luck, my observation looking at my large family is that the values and principles your parents instill in you have an impact. Some of my cousins believe success comes from witchcraft, so much so that there are tensions within the family as some branches accuse others of witchcraft at their expense. Having good parents even just one parent who doesn't poison your mind is the first bit of luck. The rest is how you use it. The second observation I have made is that kind people seem to make good parents. Hear me out. I have aunts in similar position, poor, uneducated and largely dependant on the land. When I visit, I have observed one will complain about everything and offer me nothing to eat or drink. Another aunt in a similar position will offer me whatever little she has. She will make it a point to collect some of the wild fruit I used to love as a kid. She does not act poor and helpless, she just acts like my aunt and treats me like a visitor not a savior. I suspect she doesn't view herself as being helpless and poor but she feels she can contribute in her own way. I think she instills these same values in her children. My observation is that children from such families tend to be more successful, at least this is the case in my extended family. Success is relative off course.
They do sometimes highlight things that wouldn't be what you would have, or distort things a bit, but it would get out there.
Do you ever sit and think sometimes how weird it is, to know all these things and have all these skills from your earlier life that have, like, no relevance or use in your current life?
It's weird to me how much I know about pigs, tractors and corn/soybeans/wheat that just doesn't come up much when you're sitting at a computer typing all day. (Hay bales should be stacked "sideways", to allow air to flow up through them, so that they will dry safely and not spontaneously combust. With straw it is fine to stack it any which way; some people prefer to stack it with the wires up so that it is easier to walk on, others the same as hay for consistency.)
Hay is basically grass clippings bundled together to feed to grass-eating animals when there isn't any.
Great care must be taken to collect hay when it is as dry as possible and store it in such a way as to dry it further and keep it dry because wet hay rots. Decay produces heat, and because hay is also a great insulator that heat can even reach the ignition point for the dry parts of the hay.
It tends to smolder, since it is predicated on being fairly wet at first and the middle where it is hottest will have bad airflow until the whole "being on fire" part dries the rest out, but it will set your barn on fire easily enough, and it's a real devil to put out, since you're usually trying to spray water through dozens of feet of hay to where the core of the problem actually is.
On definition of success and adding another zero to your income. I don't hold an idealist view of village people. Having grown up with them I see them as normal people. You get happy village people you get vindictive villagers and your get carefree villagers. Having said that I have to conceed that village people seem to be less stressed than city people. They own less whether it is clothes, cars, bicycles ... and they worry less. I often look at how much we have in the cities compared to the villagers and intrigued by how much we have is still not enough. I guess we measure ourselves againsts our city neighbours and our "needs" grow with time. It seems the more we have the more we want and the more taxes we pay. I always make it point to visit the village once a year. Sit around, do nothing, with no urgency. It gives one more perspective on life.
The final point you touch on is how we may have started our journeys in different places and positions but we end up in similar positions (yes I know surviorship bias comes in here). Some of my colleagues come from gang ridden townships, some had a silver spoon and went to the best schools. You would never be able to tell listening to our conversations. We all discussing the Soccer World Cup, our kids coming birthday parties, corrupt politians, our bosses and the rising taxes. We all just people.
On money, it feels like a double edged sword. It makes life convenient, but it also disconnects us. As you point out, it only holds value in a situation, and it doesn't buy health, relationships, or time. I ride public transit to work for perspective. If I could teach my kids only one thing, it would to be empathetic towards others.
Just pointing out that the parent didn't imply a dysfunctional family in their upbringing. Familial dysfunction is orthogonal to poor, hungry, and having old clothes; and in my opinion can be a far more life-constraining factor for the future.
At risk of sounding pretentious, as you move through the economic strata of society, you realize that most people don't move - they are just where their initial socio-economic status put them.
So as a poor kid moving, you understand the ability to move up at a deeper level, and you are also capable of making moves.
I do find that the higher I move, the harder it is to compete.
Anyway, that's my rant. P.S. I am not implying I am somewhere high in life - far from it, but took a lot of little jumps to get even here, which is kind of depressing.
But I bounced back quicker than my siblings, all of whom ended up dealing with drugs, alcohol problems, social problems, abusive relationships (they caused, and were afflicted by), and they are all in their 30s and 40s now.
I really wanted a peaceful childhood, but even today I struggle with the affects of it. Chores to us were more like punishment. When you knew you were going to get beaten, who can care if the house is clean? We would get beat whether we tried hard or not, so why try hard, better to try and have fun when you can... which is recipe for disaster and failure in adulthood.
A couple related articles from NPR:
- https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/06/09/6169288...
- https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/06/21/6217527...
The first article was discussed on HN:
This may be due to factors other than having been helped with his homework. Beware the narrative fallacy.
That seems to make sense.
> I presume poor kids have to play a bigger role, hence have more chores in ensuring that household is fed and clothed.
But this seems to imply that poor kids are more successful because they do a lot of chores by virtue of being poor.
having chores when young was the biggest factor (after we controlled for wealth, class, race, etc)
Could have learned so much instead.
Edit: I think the main benefit I got from it is time to think about other stuff and some apathy to comforts/luxuries which a lot of my peers don't seem to be able to related to.
We moved to town and my siblings were born in town. To this day me and my older brother, the village kids have always been more independent. During the time I was in school my parents didn't glance at my homework. Later on when my younger brother who is 11 years younger than I am was in school my mother had "learnt" that good mothers help their kids with homework. To this day my little brother cannot do anything on his own without help (accept poetic license for the sake of being brief).
I read somewhere though, I think one of those decade long Harvard studies that having chores when young was the biggest factor in how successful people became. I presume poor kids have to play a bigger role, hence have more chores in ensuring that household is fed and clothed.