> Almost everyone says the same thing, "Oh no. I'm an introvert. This is exhausting to me. I can't wait to get back to my room. But I can keep it up for a couple necessary hours."

That's it right there - introverts are people who recover energy by being alone or in smaller, more intimate, less crazy groups. Extroverts recover energy being with other people.

There's a difference between being introverted and reclusive - there's plenty of ways to connect with people that'll recharge as an introvert. When I lived in Boston, I talked to the owner of Samurai Restaurant and she let me set up a little place in the back and play Go with a friend for a few hours so long as we ordered a bit, or have small meetings there. It was cool, minimal, private area with lots of space, kind of hidden and half-underground, and we had a lovely time drinking tea and playing Go or talking philosophy or whatever.

If you're introverted, you've got to think a little on how to socialize and be recharged from it, but you definitely can find something that's suitable for you and run with it. In fact, it's almost required to stay mentally healthy. Introversion is good and fine, reclusiveness usually has bad side effects.

I think there's a wide spectrum of introvertedness, and sometimes people tend to lump together shyness, social anxiety, lack of social skills and lack of self confidence in with being an introvert.

For the introverts who can function normally and simply find socializing exhausting, thats great for them, but there are also introverts who are deeply affected by those other problems (myself included), and I feel like they/we are at a big disadvantage.

I don't know to what extent this applies to the OP, but he sounds a bit like me. I've progressively become less social since high school (to the point that I'm often referred to as "the quiet one") and haven't really tried to do anything about it, even though I'd like to.

To fake being an extravert is not that difficult when you've mastered the skill of meaningless chit chat. However, I've noticed that to acquire that skill you need an active interest in the person you're communicating with. I've noticed that people with a natural interest in other people seem to be perceived as extraverts. To learn that interest in other people can be a challenging task and after twenty years of practice I still haven't mastered it myself...

In his book, "What Got You Here Won't Get You There", Marshall Goldsmith says that everyone has the capacity to be like Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton is a legendary communicator who makes anyone feel like they are the most important person in the room[1]. When are we like Bill Clinton? When we want to make our best possible impression - first date, job interview. The difference is Bill Clinton does this all day long, with everyone. Extraordinary energy.

[1] But on Tuesday, Obama could not praise his one-time rival too warmly, jokingly recounting how Clinton's famous schmoozing skills had persuaded him to attend.

"I think everyone knows what it's like when Bill Clinton asks you to make a commitment," Obama said.

"He looks you in the eye, he feels your pain, he makes you feel like you're the only person in the room. What could I say? I was vulnerable, just like all of you have been vulnerable, to his charms."

http://www.soundanalarm.net/BillClintonWorldSaviour2009.html

I wonder why would one want to put an effort into making people feel like they're most important person in the room? Obviously, there are a lot of interesting people around, why spend time and energy into communicating with others?

I always assume that everyone I meet has at least one interesting story to tell. Then I set myself a task to get them to tell it to me.

I think the difference between making a friend and making an acquaintance is sharing stories. Emphasis added in italics below

> At the Jefferson Boulevard entrance to the campus, the guard at the gatehouse broke into a smile upon hearing Haden’s name. The guard, Eric Johnson, stepped out from his kiosk and explained that in his early 20s, he worked for a messenger service. One day he completed a downtown delivery to Haden, who stopped to converse with him for a few minutes.

With the exception of his time at Oxford, Haden has spent his entire adult life as the guy everybody knows as soon as he walks into the room. His friends say Haden’s gift is that he leaves knowing everybody else’s stories.

"He has such compassion and humility," said J. K. McKay, who caught Haden’s passes at Bishop Amat High in La Puente, Calif., east of Los Angeles, and at U.S.C., where they were coached by McKay’s father, John.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/23/sports/23haden.html?_r=1&#...

I am sorry for uprating this post by just 1 point.