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Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by adamc on Thursday May 17, 2018 @01:32PM (#17093422)
I was there, although I wouldn't have said "despise" -- more like "dissatisfied". A decade or so later, my wife divorced me.

There are a lot of pieces to that, but I ultimately realized that I had been suffering from long-term, chronic depression -- the kind where you're not necessarily sad, but the world just seems very... flat. And you are irritable a lot.

I want to recommend some things (understanding that I'm just trying to get you to think about them -- I don't know you, so I could be way off course... but). 1) Look into whether you have depression or not. At the very least, see a therapist. Maybe get a pyschiatric or psychological evaluation as well. Because depression sucks, and if you are battling it, you want to know.

2) Start looking at your life. What do you want out of your life? What would you hope for if you could "blue-sky" it? Because you need to make this life count... regardless of what your partner's expectations are. There are lots of books on this subject (random one: "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero).

3) Look at your spiritual life. (I don't necessarily mean religion.) If you are like a lot of us, it has kind of languished. But it's one of the legs of the stool, so you shouldn't neglect it.

4) Quitting is always an option. Telling yourself it isn't is just a way of locking yourself into BS options that may not work for you. Yes, there would be an economic hit. Maybe you'd have to sell your house. Maybe your partner would divorce you. It's OK to consider the drawbacks, but leave the option on the table, because... this is your life, friend. Destroying it for money is a bad, bad plan, and will teach your children the worst of lessons -- that life is a horrible grind for security, despite the fact that we hate our lives. Bad, bad outcomes come out of that lesson.

Take what you like, and leave the rest.

Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by tnvaught on Thursday May 17, 2018 @05:27PM (#17096070)
>3) Look at your spiritual life...

This can not be overemphasized in my opinion. The natural result of Atheistic Naturalism is, to me, nihilism and its accompanying depression, so I would encourage an honest examination of your worldview and an openness to faith that provides a sense of purpose.

Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by adamc on Monday May 21, 2018 @04:56PM (#17121760)
You don't have to believe in God to have a spiritual perspective -- see, for example, Buddhism.

As it happens, I do believe in God(dess), but what is needed is not religion so much as spirituality -- see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spirituality

Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by krapp on Thursday May 17, 2018 @05:38PM (#17096168)
>The natural result of Atheistic Naturalism is, to me, nihilism and its accompanying depression,

This is a view of atheism which seems predicated on a common theist belief that morality and "purpose" can only exist through belief in a divine being. Yet there are plenty of atheists who are neither nihilistic nor depressed - and plenty of theists who are.

One can believe that life has value, and that life can have a purpose in the context of humanism, and one can even have spirituality without embracing a belief in the supernatural or the divine. As Douglas Adams said, isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by emodendroket on Thursday May 17, 2018 @09:53PM (#17098037)
I don't think there's any harm in giving it a try, even if you decide it's not for you.
Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by BrandoElFollito on Friday May 18, 2018 @06:34AM (#17100288)
Same goes for trying out atheism.

Which of course makes no sense because this is not a brand of coffee.

Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by emodendroket on Friday May 18, 2018 @07:00AM (#17100414)
If you're already an atheist there is no need to "try it" because you are already familiar.
Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by BrandoElFollito on Friday May 18, 2018 @09:11AM (#17101136)
I know, I was suggesting to try out atheism for someone who believes in something else.

All this to say that such suggestions do not make sense, a belief or lack of is not something which someone can "try out". I can imagine that following some major life events, for someone who is inclined to such a change, "trying out" is an option.

Having had all kind of dramatic events in my life I never felt the need to invoque a superior being. YMMV.

Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by emodendroket on Friday May 18, 2018 @09:54AM (#17101432)
That's false though. You don't have to start out committed to anything. You can simply pick up a religious book or attend a religious service and see if it speaks to you.
Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by BrandoElFollito on Friday May 18, 2018 @10:59AM (#17101981)
Are you a believer? Do you think it is enough to just say "I do not believe anymore for the next 2 weeks", really meaning it? If so, it means that the faith was not very strong.

Except for some specific cases, one usually grows with a religion or non-religion and this deeply forges one's perspective.

Re:Getting close to 40, mid life crisis, depression, and fin... by emodendroket on Friday May 18, 2018 @11:34AM (#17102285)
I'm an adult convert. So what I'm telling you is, I didn't have to start out believing; just curious. Obviously atheism is different because there is no particular doctrine or liturgy to involve yourself in, but you could certainly read atheist polemic.