Very expensive wine tastes different, not better. Untrained people, especially if they aren't paying attention to the wine, aren't going to be able to instantly pick out an expensive wine.

But this doesn't make wine bullshit. I don't give a shit about mechanical keyboards or different fancy fonts but to people who do care and can notice differences they get a lot of value out of them.

> different, not better

This is really important. I think some people think that the reason a $1000 bottle of wine costs that much is that it's so awesomely good that a single sip will give you an orgasm or something like that. That's not it at all. A $1000 bottle of wine costs that much for one reason only: someone with more money than sense is willing to pay that much for it for some unfathomable reason. Even if that person thinks that wine is awesome, there is no reason to think that you will think it's awesome. Everyone has different tastes.

> A $1000 bottle of wine costs that much for one reason

Two reasons I think then. Expensive wines are also made the expensive way. Hand picked grapes off ancient low yield vines. Some even work the ground with horses rather than tractors to reduce soil compacting. Wooden barrels, wooden boxes etc all contribute to make the cost of production much higher...whether you like the taste or not

The cost of production sets a floor on the price, because if you can't sell it for what it cost you to produce then you won't stay in business. (That's true for any product.) But a bottle of Romanee Conti retails for $15,000 or more. I guarantee you it didn't cost them anywhere near that much to produce it. Even inspecting every single grape by hand wouldn't cost that much.

Indeed, like I said, there are two reasons. The pattern burnt into the end of the wine box is quite literally called a brand...and brand it is. I hear the Chinese nouveaux riche who drove up the price of first growth claret (Latour, Lafon, Mouton) drink it with Coke to hide the bitter taste!

Wow DRC is expensive in the US! I saw a 30 year old example sell a few weeks ago in the UK for considerably less than that, less than £5,000 ($6,700ish).

> I hear the Chinese nouveaux riche who drove up the price of first growth claret (Latour, Lafon, Mouton) drink it with Coke to hide the bitter taste!

Do you have a source for this? I would very much like to read it.

I don't have an authoritative source, but I've read this anecdote in several of Jancis Robinson's wine columns. Here's one where it is mentioned as an aside: https://www.jancisrobinson.com/articles/chinas-new-connoisse...

All that being said I get the feeling this is something that someone somewhere saw once 15 years ago, and then the story has just been spreading from there.

Yep. We used to make a barrel with my dad every year. Handpicked and and threw stuff out that was spoiled. Took an evening for 100 litres. We could usually tell the difference between that and the mass produced mash-everything-for-volume easy.

An Anecdote, when I was younger, me and a few colleagues got into whiskey and had somewhat regular meetings. One time I had 2 bottles I got for Christmas. Same distillery, one 12yo, the other 24yo. We all liked both of them, but also all had the feeling that the 24yo offered more than we could actually get out of it. When I had it again a few years later, I could appreciate it much more.

Keep that expensive bottle and re-fill it with boxed wine whenever you have dinner guests. Not that I would ever do such a thing...

Pro-tip right here.

I have another pro-tip.

How to look like you know about wine when offered a taste. I don't have a great palate, but I have watched the experts...this is how to fit in.

1. Pick the glass up. If it is an older wine hold the glass at 45 degrees and in front of the light. Make a noise like you noticed something. Time for a gentle swirl. If the wine forms into streaks ("legs") it is due to high alcohol or high sugar content. Store that info for later.

2. Put the glass back on the counter-top. Palm-down with the stem trapped between your index and middle fingers swirl it in circles on the counter-top. Make it look like you feel this is important.

3. Sniff. Compost smell is considered bad. If it doesn't smell of compost or vinegar, but something more pleasant make a vague "mm" noise. Don't overdo it. Wine does not have a smell, it has a "nose". If it is fruitier on the nose than the last thing you tried, then it is probably safe to say so.

4. Now take a mouth full and suck air through it as noisily as you can, just like you were told not to when you were a child. If it isn't rancid, give an intrigued look, but don't commit.

5. Spit. A good long spit is the pro-style, dribbling is bad. If there is no spittoon, then swallow. Spitting on someones floor is bad form.

repeat steps 4 and 5. The experts always taste more than once.

6. Now the hard bit, you might get asked your opinion. "interesting" is a great play for time, maybe they will lead. If it is a red and very tannic (dry feeling in your mouth) you could comment that it would be a nice food wine. Now the magic, just like coffee, the longer you can taste it for (the "length") the better the wine. If you get a lovely mixture of spices that is still there in 30 seconds you can safely say it has "good length". If you can still taste it the next morning it either wasn't so good, or you tried a little too much.

Advanced blagging: Wine tastes: Certain regions are supposed to taste certain ways with their own jargon. Here are a few to blag with.

White Burgundy (Chablis, Macconais etc): "minerality" is the word to work in.

New Zealand sauvignon blanc: Grapefruit=good, lemons=bad

Bordeaux: "Full-bodied", "Tannin"

Rhone valley (Chatuex-neuf-de-pape etc): Can you taste green -peppers? say so

Hot dry places (Chille, Australia, California) are supposed to produce fruitier wine than the same grape from France.

White Zinfandel : Don't admit to liking sweet white Zinfandel, unless you are on a hen-night

Germany/ Alsace: You will struggle to blag here, save it for another time.

So maybe that wont help you enjoy wine, but you can show your friends up, and really that is one of the most important things in life.

I ended up helping a somm friend out once with a high profile event they were a man down for. She told me me to always throw in a tasting note of "Medium - Medium Plus acidity" and then to reference abstract things as flavors, such as a crisp fall afternoon. It's 90% telling a narrative and having a story to put into people's mind and 10% actual tasting.

The Sour Grapes (surprised it isn't mentioned; best wine movie ever!) guy is here! Glad you are out!

It was so amusing you almost got away with it untill you conned one of the Koch brothers!

Next time ;-) I never keep the bottles...

You were able to serve 80 people from a bottle of wine?

Did they drink from thimbles?

No, I said that the party was attended by ~80 people, some of them took my bottle of wine from among all available bottles and drank it (most people looked at what is available and then decided what to get). I saw only one lady that said "wow, this must be a very expensive wine!" and as she looked around excited to share the finding, nobody cared, and the ones who were drinking it seemed to drink it like a juice, completely uninterested.

Wine tastings will often give you just the barest splash of liquid. Even then, getting 80 servings out of a 750ml bottle is impressive. Roughly 9ml per serving, or 3/10 of an ounce for Americans.

I really can't blame the guests for having trouble identifying it as a particularly superb wine when they don't get enough to coat their tongue.

> Wine tastings will often give you just the barest splash of liquid.

You need to find a better wine merchant. You need at least enough to fill your mouth twice over...

Did you also serve 80 people a single loaf of bread?

I wish...

I had a client who said she was into wine. I gave her a somewhat difficult to procure bottle (small production, long waiting list) that was well above what I would spend on wine for myself. Next time I saw her she told me to my horror how she had popped it open for just her and her husband to have with their hamburgers one weekend. Now I no longer give such nice gifts to clients. ;-D

are you kidding? That's a great way to enjoy a nice bottle of wine.

I think you misinterpreted what I was saying: I might as well have given her grape juice, as she had no idea what she was drinking. Hamburgers wouldn't have even been a good pairing.

You didn't prove much. You have to be in the right state of mind to appreciate subtle things in wine. If you aren't paying attention to it (eg, you are at a party and not a wine tasting event), you'll miss it.

Just because nobody could tell the difference doesn't mean the cheaper wines were the same as the expensive wines. It just means you served expensive wine at a party where nobody was expecting to have to put effort into analyzing their wine.

Lets not even forget that some of these folks could have a been a few drinks in already...