Re:A female engineer's opinion on why there are fewer women ...
by gnulinux on Wednesday May 09, 2018 @06:01PM
(#17034563)
This is exactly me. All my, maybe >10 (of course in college, not in work), attempts ended up me being called out for being creepy so I basically quit trying because I don't want to make women uncomfortable. When I say this to my friends they act as if I'm inflicting self-harm. We should really let people being at peace with their sexuality.
Re:A female engineer's opinion on why there are fewer women ...
by bittercynic on Wednesday May 09, 2018 @05:35PM
(#17034353)
I think if you approach someone with "this person is very attractive" at the fore of your mind, you're likely to present in a way that could be perceived as creepy, and maybe not approaching that person could be a good move. If very many people have that effect on you, it might be worth checking to see if you want to change something about yourself, though.
Re:A female engineer's opinion on why there are fewer women ...
by stcredzero on Wednesday May 09, 2018 @05:25PM
(#17034243)
Something nobody will admit is that "creepy" is really 90% based on the looks of a person, and 10% what they are doing.
It's based mostly on relative status, and it mostly exists in the mind.
People aren't comfortable with the idea of an unattractive person potentially having a romantic interest in them (regardless of whether they do or not).
It's different between women and men. Men are a bit more physically dangerous to women, so a man liking a woman carries a bit more risk than a woman liking a man. Also, the state-of-nature potential downside cost of unwanted attention, should it go very badly, is higher to a woman than it is to a man.
This is exactly how I am, but it has nothing to do with the #metoo movement. The reason is because I discovered at a young age that girls didn't want a ugly boy talking to them. It makes them uncomfortable, and as a result, it makes me uncomfortable.
So in my mind, avoiding attractive women is being polite.
Something nobody will admit is that "creepy" is really 90% based on the looks of a person, and 10% what they are doing. People aren't comfortable with the idea of an unattractive person potentially having a romantic interest in them (regardless of whether they do or not).
edit: My horrible solution to the issue of a lack of women in tech is to get more conventionally attractive men in tech. More guys like in that Napa photo and less ones like that chubby, 1980s stereotype one.