In way yes, it is not really about winning it is about being truly at the edge of your abilities mentally and physically though I understand your sentiment there is something innately human about war, about being on your limits, facing death and standing tall surely it is not beautiful and we can argue the ethics and motivations but it is a part of what makes us human.

I'm not saying it's about winning, I'm saying he will find it too painful to remember "being on his limits, facing death, etc." if he was in a real war where his side also suffered losses or he was injured, captured, etc. those painful memories would dominate his view

No need to look for the winners, just go ask the injured. Plenty of vets in the US came to their senses after getting injured chasing some foreign adventure under the guise of defense.