To be honest, I never liked my life in the first place. This has just kind of been the icing on the cake (no pun intended).

Goal is to outlive my cat (he wouldn’t understand if I was gone) and then just see what happens. Figure I can make it 5 more years or so.

Yeah it’s tough!

Meditation is a great tool to help deal with the sense that life is meaningless. Good luck - I hope you find your way :)

Yeah thanks. If I meditate enough maybe my pancreas will work, I won’t be worthless, and there’ll be a reason to get up in the morning.

Sometimes there’s no answer and nothing that will help make things better. I can accept that. Seems to be other people who can’t.

For what it's worth, most of the advice I've heard about diet with regards to typeI diabetes is garbage (the typeII advice was always better). It took more than a year for an engineering friend of mine who specializes in signal processing to convince his girlfriend to ignore her doctor's dieting advice, and her blood sugar, and health in general, improved greatly as a result.

Basically his take on it is that typeI diabetics target the wrong thing. They're told to eat a high carb diet and estimate the amount of insulin they need to modulate their blood sugar. His take was that you should take a consistent amount of insulin more regularly, while eating a fattier more protein heavy diet, occassionally using fast carbs to bring up low blood sugar. The fat and protein will tend to lower the glycemic index of food, so you'll get less spikes, and more importantly less ringing of your blood sugar, which can lead to taking too much insulin (ringing is a signal processing term which describes the phenomenon of what tends to happen when you slam a signal high or low, where the signal will oscillate around an upper or lower value until the signal settles on the new value). Basically the goal is to have a more stable, and more predictable blood sugar level throughout the day. Also, when taking blood sugar measurements, taking multiple measurements minutes apart will tell you whether you're on the rising side or the falling side of a peak, and can give you a better idea as to whether more insulin is needed, or if it'll make you crash since you're already coming down.

To sum up, the slower the carbs you eat, the better, also fat and protein slow down carbs as well. Also, eating carbs to bring up blood sugar is superior to taking (more) insulin to bring down blood sugar.

Anyways, good luck to you. I'm sorry life is sucking for you right now (and historically).

Meditating won’t make your pancreas work. I’m not suggesting that. What it will give you is a reason to get up in the morning and it will boost you self worth.

I wish I could transfer experience, but I can’t, so all I can say is try it for 6 weeks and prove me wrong.