This being HN, I should point out that getting goalies to play can be such a problem that there is even an "Uber for goalies" app in Canada:

https://www.puckapp.ca/

Are goalies so rare / specialised / injury-prone in ice-hockey that they need a dedicated app? Wow.

I don't think anyone would need anything like that in football (soccer), but maybe there is a business opportunity I had never thought of...

Pretty much. If you're in a rec league and your goalie can't make the game you have to scramble to find one, or forfeit the game (or play without one, which trust me, sucks for both teams since the other team feels like they have to take it easy on you even though they really shouldn't.)

Usually the league you're in provides this service though, there's a sort of standby list of goalies that can get called on if you know enough in advance that yours can't make it.

Goalies also almost never pay the league fees (the team distributes the fees amongst the skating players and doesn't make the goalie pay). Not having a goalie is basically the death of a team.

In my beer hockey league (Charlotte), goalies have to pay the league fees too. And it's up to the player-coach to find a sub if the primary goalie can't make the game. Our league is relatively "formal" in that we all have to be registered with USA Hockey; our games have real refs, time keeper, etc. But I've been in other leagues, less formal, where goalies skate for free.

In my league the payment is per-team, not per person, so the league doesn't care who pays, they just need payment. But traditionally, a team will divide the cost among N-1 of them so that the goalie doesn't have to pay. It's quite a nice system IMO.

It also is worth pointing out that it's not just because of the "rarity" of goalies teammates do this - it's also a substantial cost burden for a goalie to play due to the expense of equipment. This helps distribute that burden a bit more fairly since as you stated early - the team doesn't exist unless you have a goalie.

A family member recently outfitted a junior high goalie and the total came to about $1,000.

I always imagined the goalie as the main tank of a raiding guild. They got special privileges just due to their importance and "upkeep" costs.

Agreed! The other thing is if you don't play goalie mainly, many skaters just would rather not. I know I would much rather play as a forward than get shot at all game.

The comparison to a keeper in football is close, but in hockey it's a far more important and specialized role. In the NHL, a typical # of shots on goal is 30-35 [1]. Seems like 3-7 is a typical number of saves a football keeper would have to make [2].

Also, the equipment a hockey goalie uses is specialized, whereas I think the only extra equipment a keeper has is a different coloured jersey and gloves.

[1] http://www.nhl.com/stats/team?reportType=season&seasonFrom=2...

[2] http://www.footcharts.co.uk/index.cfm?task=basics_shotsontar...

You are correct, football keepers make a much lower amount of saves - but goals tend to be fewer and hence "heavier" in football, so having a bad keeper will still likely result in a loss. And it's still the sort of role no regular player wants to do - which results in some funny differences at the cultural level.

At the very least, I guess this concept could work as a feature for all those apps people use to arrange 5-a-sides.

More specialized -- goaltenders, like drummers, have to make a big investment both in equipment and in a means to transport it.

I played hockey all through college as a forward and a couple times have thrown on goalie equipment just to try it out after practice. I have found that being a goalie is a completely different skill set than being a skater, it's almost like you are playing a different sport. It's all about playing angles, body positioning, quick reflexes, and spatial awareness - those skills are important for skaters but we usually focus on play formation, north/south speed, agility, and passing.

Plus you're on the ice for the entire game rather than one 40-60 second shift at a time (with no chance for a rest in the penalty box, either).

Good explanation of why that's not practical from a long-time goalie: https://deadspin.com/1824202533

Getting the equipment on is a bit of a process, so I doubt teams would want to be down a rostered skater in the event they need someone to sit on the bench as a goaltender.

It's also extremely rare for these backups to see playing time. This is only the second time it's happened in the NHL; the previous was last year when an equipment manager stood in for 8 seconds.

They have to have the full goalie gear on in advance and for the entire game. You'd be sacrificing a skater for that game. It's not like baseball, where some non-catcher on the roster is considered emergency catcher (generally anybody bilingual and with past catching experience).

I saw this happen in pro roller hockey (RHI) where the San Jose Rhinos' then-GM (but previously a champion goalie) had to sign himself to a 1-day contract and dress for a game.