I was similarly disappointed with "gifted" programs. Immigrated to the US and was suddenly far ahead of my peers, so was placed in a gifted program immediately (which I thought was weird since it was clear to me that the only reason I was "gifted" is because I had been taught faster and expected to learn faster and there was no reason the other kids weren't "gifted" except for the school system), and then again when I switched schools. In both cases what I was taught in the gifted program was useless novelties, but then I was required to return to the classes I missed those days and make up the work I missed. Looking back, all the gifted program did was make me even more socially outcast and add to my workload without an equivalent increase in my learning. I went from being an A student with a good group of friends to being a C student with 1 or 2 kinda friends and I mainly blame the gifted program, which I really got nothing out of except I learned the Fibonacci sequence at a young age. Everything else that I credit with helping me learn and be successful was stuff I learned at home.

Doesn't that sound like you weren't gifted but were misplaced because your new schools non-gifted curriculum was lagging behind your old school?

Yes, exactly - that's one of the points I was trying to make. A curriculum that teaches kids far slower than most of them are capable of learning makes an average-ish student from a better curriculum look "gifted". My experience before and after schooling in the US is that I'm not an exceptional genius, but I sure felt like one in class, and that sucks for all the kids who were just as smart as me but had a shitty education in fairly well-funded school districts. I had the benefit of recognizing I could do better and learning a lot at home. Many other kids would just assume they're not gifted and on-par and not expect more from their education, or wouldn't have the resources to learn better at home anyway.

so funny, my daughter's monthly gifted class spent the entire day last week futzing with the Fibonacci sequence.

Meanwhile we are struggling to teach her basic fractions.

Ugh. That sounds terrible.

In switching from private to public in California schools, I had a similar experience. Grade 3 was private, grade 4 public. There was little learning happening in grade 4, but my grade 5 teacher at a public school was one of the best influences in my life.

I think individual attention is the single biggest factor. An experienced and observant teacher will find something in a pupil to drive their interest and enthusiasm. If one teacher has 40 kids to teach, that amount of attention is simply not possible.

I'm not sure why a gifted 8-year-old or 14-year old should have more homework. After all, they are still kids. If you have more difficult subject matter that is suitable for their intellect, the homework shouldn't be an issue.

I got poor grades when the homework started kicking in. I had a little bit of homework in 5th grade. 6th grade I had a few hours per night. In 8th grade, they put me into regular classes and I had zero homework simply because they were so much easier. I was bored all day, but made great grades. I made Ok grades the next year or two, depending on the class. my sophmore year, we moved again. This school had a more balanced gifted program, and my grades stayed up.

Now, I realize I have my own sort of issues with some of this stuff and maybe others word differently: I have a lot of symptoms of mild dyslexia, which would have been easily overlooked in the 80's and 90's (I moved countries as an adult, learned a second language, and made friends with a psychologist with a dyslexic brother. She spotted it with my spelling problems, but I've not been tested). But the point more is that 8 year olds, even intelligent ones, are still 8-year olds and often have the maturity of 8-year olds. 14 year olds still have a normal 14-year old's hormones.